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6 Signs of a Codependent Relationship

Codependency

The traditional definition of codependency focuses on control, nurturing, and maintenance of relationships with individuals who are chemically dependent or engaging in undesirable behaviors, such as narcissism.

A classic codependency model is an alcoholic husband and his enabling wife.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

6 Signs of a Codependent Relationship

6 Signs of a Codependent Relationship

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-zen/201609/6-signs-codependent-relationship

psychologytoday.com

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Key Ideas

Codependency

The traditional definition of codependency focuses on control, nurturing, and maintenance of relationships with individuals who are chemically dependent or engaging in undesirable behaviors, such as narcissism.

A classic codependency model is an alcoholic husband and his enabling wife.

Signs of Codependency

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner's needs?
  • Is it difficult to say no when your partner makes demands on your time and energy?
  • Do you cover your partner’s problems with drugs, alcohol, or the law?
  • Do you constantly worry about others’ opinions of you?
  • Do you feel trapped in your relationship?
  • Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?

The Development of Codependency

When a child grows up in a dysfunctional home with unavailable parents, the child takes on the role of caretaker, learn to put the parents need first, and repress and disregard their own needs.

As the child becomes an adult, he or she repeats the same dynamic in their adult relationships.

Resentment builds when you don’t recognize your own needs and wants. A common behavioral tendency is to overreact or lash out when your partner lets you down.

Recovering from Codependency

Getting in touch with deep-rooted feelings of hurt, loss, and anger will allow you to reconstruct appropriate relationship dynamics. You will know you are on track when:

  • You nurture your own wants and desires
  • You say goodbye to abusive behavior.
  • You respond rather than react to your partner.

EXPLORE MORE AROUND THESE TOPICS:

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Codependent Couples
  • There may be an imbalance of power or one partner may have taken on responsibility for the other.
  • They’re often anxious and resentful and feel guilty and responsible for their partner...
Interdependent Couples
  • Interdependency requires two people capable of autonomy.
  • They share power equally and take responsibility for their own feelings, actions, and contributions to the relationship. 
  • They can manage their thoughts and feelings on their own and don’t have to control someone else to feel okay. 
  • They can allow for each other’s differences and honor each another’s separateness. 
  • There’s support for each other’s personal goals, but both are committed to the relationship.
Codependency

Codependency essentially happens when one person is sacrificing more for their relationship than the other.

In a healthy relationship it's normal to depend on your partner for comfort and su...

Filling in the gaps

The first sign of codependency will involve one person starting to take on the responsibility to keep in touch and connect while the other partner pulls back in how much time, effort, and care they are giving.

As soon as this happens, the relationship has shifted in an unhealthy direction towards codependency.

'Fixing' your partner

Codependent personalities tend to thrive on helping others (or even thinking they may 'fix' them). When caring for another person stops you from having your own needs met or if your self-worth is dependent on being needed, you may be heading down the codependent path.

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Communication needs improvement if:
  • You are having trouble getting through to your spouse; you talk about the same issue over and over again without coming to an agreement.
  • You seem unable to have a decent conversation...
Just Communicate

It is difficult to discuss some sensitive subjects, and we are tempted to avoid them. Other times we simply expect our partners to know what we are doing, thinking or what we want.

It is much better to get things out in the open regularly rather than waiting to have big rows that might damage your relationship.

Listen actively

Be curious about your partner’s point of view rather than trying to anticipate every situation. Active listening involves:

  • Paying attention to your partner.
  • Tolerating your silence.
  • Paying attention to your partner’s nonverbal communication.
  • Reflecting and paraphrasing what your partner is saying: I hear you say you feel angry when I ….. Is that what you are saying?

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