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The 10 commandments of online dating

The Timing Of Your Answers

Similar texting habits can be key to finding love online, but that doesn’t mean you need to match someone’s response time to the minute. Adopt the same ‘timings’ as you would a friend.

Also, keep in mind that purposely delaying responses not to seem desperate sets a toxic precedent if you’re obsessing over such trivial matters so early on. 

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The 10 commandments of online dating

The 10 commandments of online dating

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/online-dating-rules-apps-tinder-etiquette-bumble-happn-advice-a8541806.html

independent.co.uk

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Key Ideas

Don’t Say What You Don’t Mean

When we meet someone we fancy online, it’s tempting to become an effusive people-pleaser in the hope that your affections will be reciprocated.

Going overboard with the compliments early on will either sound inauthentic or engender false hope that can cause problems down the line. If you mean it, say it.

Don’t Lie About Yourself

Men are most likely to lie about their occupations on dating apps, whereas women tend to use old pictures or heavily edited recent ones.

Most lies people tell on dating apps aim to portray them in a way they think the other person will deem attractive. But tailoring your online image will set your date up for disappointment.

Don’t Use Emojis

Research indicates that only 8% of people think sending an emoji message will get you a reply in the first instance. It gives the impression that you have a small vocabulary and are lazy.

Try and start out with at least a sentence or two, ideally including a question the person can answer you. Basically you want to invite a conversation, not merely state your presence.

The Timing Of Your Answers

Similar texting habits can be key to finding love online, but that doesn’t mean you need to match someone’s response time to the minute. Adopt the same ‘timings’ as you would a friend.

Also, keep in mind that purposely delaying responses not to seem desperate sets a toxic precedent if you’re obsessing over such trivial matters so early on. 

Have An Escape Routine

It’s key to have an exit strategy prepared in case you end up meeting with someone who is clearly not a good match for you. Otherwise, you might find yourself stuck for an extended period of time with them. Some general rules of practice: be polite, don’t tell a farfetched lie and never dine and dash.

Ignore Advice From Couples Who Met Irl

Those who met in real life may be out of touch with the dating landscape and even more with best practices of online dating. 

Don’t Date Too Many

Things can get messy if you start dating several people at once. You find yourself repeating stories because you’ve forgotten what you’ve said to who, and you’ll also struggle to commit to just one person due to constant distractions.

Once you start seeing someone frequently, focus on one person at a time.

Read Verbal And Non-Verbal Cues

It’s important to be aware of what your match is and isn’t comfortable with in terms of physical intimacy.

Read the situation and, if you’re unsure, be straightforward and have a conversation about it. In these instances, it is always better to be safe than sorry.

Try To Split The Bill

A YouGov study from 2017 found that 40 % of men think they should always pay for the first date while just 29 % of women felt the same.

People feel very strongly about this, which is why it’s best to avoid the risk of causing an almighty ruckus over something so menial and vow to split the bill early on.

Don’t Stalk Much On Social Media

It’s acceptable to engage in a mild amount of pre-date social media stalking to make sure the person you’re meeting actually exists, but keep your searching to a minimum so you get to know the person in front of you and not a fantasy version you have gleaned from social media platforms.

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Internet And Marriage

At least one-third of all marriages in the U. S. are now between partners who met online and researchers say online meeting-based marriages happen more quickly after the first date.

The Non-Divisive Effect

Before the Internet, dating was mostly restricted by one’s social and geographical limitations with friends of friends being the most common method of introduction. The Internet pairs couples that wouldn’t even meet otherwise.

Research also indicates that you're more likely to date someone from a different race if you're dating online, by a factor of about 7 percent. 

Combating Social Stratification

There's a troubling trend towards exclusive, private membership-based dating apps that only allow very rich or very popular people, essentially creating a dating bubble that socially isolates people by class.

By using less restrictive apps we have the widest possible pools of potential dates, rather than aspiring to something more exclusive, we're keeping ourselves open to more random love connections that cut across lines of race and class and everything else that divides us. We're doing our part to keep society more open, less stratified. 

Data On Online Dating
  • 40% of Americans use online dating as a way to meet new people.
  • 23% of Americans still think using online dating sites is desperate.
Data On Online Daters
  • 53% of Americans lie in their profiles. Women tend to post younger photos of themselves and claim to be thinner, while men tend to lie about their careers.
  • Even on apps known as being for "hook up", most females are looking for a genuine match and not a fling.
  • Two-thirds of online daters have gone out with someone they were matched with.
  • One-third of people who have used online dating have never actually gone on a date. 
Data On Relationships Started Online
  • Relationships that begin online are nearly 30% more likely to break down than ones where couples met face-to-face first.
  • 20% of committed relationships began online.
  • Marriages from online couples are three times as likely to end in divorce.
  • 17% of couples that were married in the last year met on a dating website. 

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Take Your Time Making Choices

Online dating greatly increases your pool of potential suitors. But the excess of choice might make you overlook good candidates.

Personal growth helps in making long-term relationships wo...

How To Portray Yourself

You should like your photos but they should accurately depict your physical appearance. Well perceived pictures often feature a genuine smile (one that makes your eyes start to crinkle up) and a slight head tilt.

Briefly write what’s distinctive and interesting about you and what you’re looking for. Ideally, dedicate 70% for the former and 30% for the latter.

Choosing The Right Dating Apps

Research shows that people tend to fall for others similar to themselves. Being honest about yourself and your needs increases the odds that you will meet compatible people.

Besides being honest, you should consider an app’s target demographic and use the apps that fit your needs well. 

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