Being hard on yourself can ruin your mood, focus, and productivity. Luckily, shame and humiliation – two emotions that are common with self-criticism — are shown to only last between 30 to 50 minutes.
Timebox your feelings: set a timer and allow yourself to fully experience these emotions during that period. One helpful practice is release writing, in which you free write for 3 to 5 mins to let go of frustrations.
Once the timer ends, make a conscious choice about how to move forward. Define how you want to feel and what actions gets you closer to that state (eg: go for a walk to be peaceful).
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Perhaps you have thought that self-criticism is what keeps you sharp. Sensitive strivers (high-achievers who are also highly sensitive, demanding excellence from themselves at all times) often use this technique as a form of motivation, hoping that if they’re to...
Being hard on yourself may be ineffective, but it is also a hard pattern to break. It requires consistent attention and practice. Here are a few strategies that can set you on the path to taking a more balanced, emotionally equanimous approach to your performance.
As a sensitive striver, you likely have a tendency to define achievement in a hyper-specific way, that is, complete and total excellence at all times. You don’t need to lower your bar, but you do need to broaden your scope of what qualifies as a “win.”
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Full-time digital product designer & part-time traveler. Funny, bald, bearded dad. Foodie, rider, stasher.
As a sensitive striver who deals with the effects of self-criticism on a constant base, I found these techinques interesting to put in practice. Especially the naming one and the timer. It takes a lot of effort to be conscious when this is happening and try to use them, but it’s something I’ll definitely try next time I’m spiralling down into self-recrimination. 🤞🙏
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