4. Set a timer and a goal

Take a few moments at the end of your workday to reflect not only on your professional highlights (praise, recognition, positive reviews, etc.), but also to consider moments where you made yourself proud. Acting in integrity with your values is the true definition of success.

Perhaps you have thought that self-criticism is what keeps you sharp. Sensitive strivers (high-achievers who are also highly sensitive, demanding excellence from themselves at all times) often use this technique as a form of motivation, hoping that if they’re to...

Being hard on yourself may be ineffective, but it is also a hard pattern to break. It requires consistent attention and practice. Here are a few strategies that can set you on the path to taking a more balanced, emotionally equanimous approach to your performance.

Create psychological distance from self-criticism by personifying it. Choose a silly name, like “the little monster” or “gremlin”, or, why not, Darth Vader. Purchasing a small Darth Vader action figure for your desk reminds you t...

Sometimes, our impression of ourselves does not match others’ impression. This is called the spotlight effect — a tendency in which you misjudge and overestimate how much attention others pay to your behavior.

As a sensitive striver, you likely have a tendency to define achievement in a hyper-specific way, that is, complete and total excellence at all times. You don’t need to lower your bar, but you do need to broaden your scope of what qualifies as a “win.”

Achieving the desire...