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It’s probably best not to suppress or hold back one’s emotions, especially immediately after a breakup.
However, the emotions can be so intense that they may not be appropriate for public display, so take time out, go somewhere private, and sob it out. Scream it out. It’s normal.
Once a breakup has happened, you should limit contact with that person. It isn’t unlike going through substance detoxification: There is a difficult withdrawal period, but that is the only way to move forward and heal.
Something about quiet words on the page describing what you are going through can be calming in a way little else is. It also helps to reboot the logic centers of your brain that your emotional state may have shut off or flooded.
While rebounding can be risky, it is OK when one feels ready — on average, it takes people three to six months — to test the dating waters.
This is probably the quickest way to restore one’s feeling of being a viable mate. The key is to take it slow and steady.
Now is a fine time to do self-care rituals that, at other times, you might consider to be unnecessary splurges.
Shop for clothes, accessories, or makeup. Get a new haircut. Nibble on some chocolate. Anything that boosts your sense of yourself as someone worthy of comfort and pride.
As tempting as it is to throw your regular cycle out the window, now is the time it is most crucial to stick to it.
Keep to your usual sleeping and eating schedule (and amounts) as much as possible, and get out some extra anger or energy in the gym.
Family and friends can help, but make sure you recognize their limits as well.
You may decide that professional help may provide a more neutral and long-lasting perspective. They can also point out deeper patterns of behavior or thinking.
In the short term, it might reinforce or flare up painful memories, but it also normalizes the grief you are feeling so that you know you're not alone.
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You can't have love without self-love.
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