Become Anti-Social (Media)

Become Anti-Social (Media)

Nothing good can come from looking at your ex’s Instagram stories or Facebook timeline. When it comes to social media, just say no.

Matthew I. (@matthewyi) - Profile Photo

@matthewyi

Love & Family

psychologytoday.com

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Take Your Time

Breaking up can trigger chemical, emotional and physical reactions that cause you to feel lonely, unloveable, depressed, and worthless. 

Instead of pushing yourself to move forward quickly, take time to acknowledge how you are feeling. Your thoughts might be distorted, but your feelings are real. Take the time you need to explore them.

If you need additional help, therapy can be a wonderful resource to provide you with support and new tools to assist in letting go. 

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, for example, is a short-term treatment model with measurable goals that can teach you how to change unhelpful, negative automatic thoughts and maladaptive behaviors that stop you from moving on.

Remember Why You Broke Up

It may be painful to recall what your ex said when things ended, but it is a necessary part of moving on. 

You need to accept the reality of why the relationship has ended so you can get past it.

Date Yourself

Rediscover yourself by dating yourself.

  • Set time aside to date yourself by scheduling it in.
  • Decide what you are going to do with that time.
  • Engage in dating prep. Why should you only spend time getting all dolled up for someone else?
  • Go on the date with mindful presence. Be open to the experience, and enjoy the moment.

To manage the unpleasant sensations, thoughts, and feelings, try practicing deep breathing, body scans, meditation, and other mindful activities. 

Allowing things to flow freely, without trying to control, stop, avoid, or manipulate them, will make them less powerful, loosens their grip on you, and gives you the confidence and skill you need to act in the face of them. 

Good Grief

The five stages of grief are: 

  • denial (inability to accept reality), 
  • anger (physical tension, frustration, resentment), 
  • bargaining (magical thinking, pleading to God), 
  • depression (sadness, emptiness, guilt, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, hopelessness),
  • acceptance. 

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RELATED IDEAS

Your brain can't admit it's over

Being in love is like being hooked on a drug - and breaking up is similar to addiction withdrawal.

Understanding why the break up happened is necessary before we can move on from a breakup. It allows us to stamp out any hopes for reconciliation and move forward with our lives.

When humans fall in love, their bodies are actively producing feel-good hormones and preventing the release of negative hormones.

When this process suddenly stops, the "withdrawal" felt can be extremely difficult to process both on an emotional and physiological level.

Rekindling Of An Old Flame

Breakups and subsequent renewals are quite common across all types of romantic relationships and even marriages.

Falling apart and then seeking to mend the old relationship seems to be deeply rooted in our psychology.

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