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7 Steps to Heal a Broken Heart
Remember Why You Broke Up
It may be painful to recall what your ex said when things ended, but it is a necessary part of moving on.
You need to accept the reality of why the relationship has ended so you can get past it.
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Take Your Time
Breaking up can trigger chemical, emotional and physical reactions that cause you to feel lonely, unloveable, depressed, and worthless.
Instead of pushing yourself to move forward quickly, take time to acknowledge how you are feeling. Your thoughts might be distorted, but your feelings are real. Take the time you need to explore them.
Good Grief
The five stages of grief are:
- denial (inability to accept reality),
- anger (physical tension, frustration, resentment),
- bargaining (magical thinking, pleading to God),
- depression (sadness, emptiness, guilt, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, hopelessness),
- acceptance.
Become Anti-Social (Media)
Nothing good can come from looking at your ex’s Instagram stories or Facebook timeline. When it comes to social media, just say no.
Try Mindfulness
To manage the unpleasant sensations, thoughts, and feelings, try practicing deep breathing, body scans, meditation, and other mindful activities.
Allowing things to flow freely, without trying to control, stop, avoid, or manipulate them, will make them less powerful, loosens their grip on you, and gives you the confidence and skill you need to act in the face of them.
Date Yourself
Rediscover yourself by dating yourself.
- Set time aside to date yourself by scheduling it in.
- Decide what you are going to do with that time.
- Engage in dating prep. Why should you only spend time getting all dolled up for someone else?
- Go on the date with mindful presence. Be open to the experience, and enjoy the moment.
Remember Why You Broke Up
It may be painful to recall what your ex said when things ended, but it is a necessary part of moving on.
You need to accept the reality of why the relationship has ended so you can get past it.
Find Therapy
If you need additional help, therapy can be a wonderful resource to provide you with support and new tools to assist in letting go.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, for example, is a short-term treatment model with measurable goals that can teach you how to change unhelpful, negative automatic thoughts and maladaptive behaviors that stop you from moving on.
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- Visual reminders are likely to create dopamine surges in your brain that relate to feelings of craving and withdrawal.
- Replace those surges of dopamine by taking a fitness class. Exercise can also release endorphins that trigger positive feelings.
- Find a "new normal".
- Accept the reason for the breakup.
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Social media stalking your ex
When we are stalking our exes on social media, we will find something we don’t want to see. But the subsequent feel of your heart dropping and the jealousy aren’t conducive to getting over your heartbreak.
Burn all cyber-bridges - limiting your access to your ex will automatically make you feel better.
When everything makes you cry
The emotional pain of a breakup often results in your body pumping itself full of cortisol, which suppresses the immune system and affects coping mechanisms.
The first step in fixing the problem is understanding that it is normal, according. So if the littlest things are making you cry, take a moment to recognize that it is most likely caused by your body's response to the breakup.
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Grief and stress
Grief is the one feeling nobody can escape from throughout one’s lifetime. Unfortunately, we all end up knowing it.
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Grief and depression
Grief can very easily lead to depression. And depression is nothing to be joking around with: it can put your health at risk in no time.
Among the symptoms that can be identified with depression there are: extreme hopelessness, insomnia, loss of appetite, suicidal thoughts, persistent feelings of worthlessness, and marked mental and physical sluggishness.
Learn to face the grief
In order to better handle a difficult period of grief, one has the possibility to choose from two alternatives: see a counselor or join a support group.
While the first option provides you with professional, specialized help, the second one emphasizes the importance of sharing your experiences with people who have already experienced the same kind of pain.
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