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10 Unhealthy Relationship Myths to Stop Believing

Beliefs About Change

People can change if they want to.

Remember that change can be scary, so it's important to be loving and supportive of your partner.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

10 Unhealthy Relationship Myths to Stop Believing

10 Unhealthy Relationship Myths to Stop Believing

https://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/unhealthy-relationship-myths-to-stop-believing/

everydayhealth.com

10

Key Ideas

Happily Ever After

If you believe in that myth, you’re not going to take the responsibility required to create a great relationship.

You have to be ready and willing to work for your relationship. It doesn’t just happen; it takes effort and determination.

Beliefs About Change

People can change if they want to.

Remember that change can be scary, so it's important to be loving and supportive of your partner.

Who's More Prone To Cheat

Not all men are cheaters, and believing so can make you less trusting and more paranoid of your partner.

If you want a solid bond, you have to trust your significant other and communicate if you have concerns about his fidelity.

True Love And Mind-Reading

Your partner isn’t a mind-reader. It’s up to you to tell them exactly what you need.

Just say “It would mean a lot to me if . .. .” and fill in the blank with whatever you need to feel loved and supported.

Commitment

Saying your vows and exchanging rings on your wedding day isn’t enough: You need to commit to your marriage every single day if you want a good relationship.

Solving Relationship Problems

Women who deal with trust issues tend to wrongly think that marriage and babies will make their partners more committed. Having a baby may actually create new issues on top of the ones you’re already dealing with.

To improve your bond, you have to look at what’s happening inside the relationship rather than looking to outside forces to fix it

Good Relationships Take Work

In the beginning of a relationship, you’re both putting your best foot forward. But eventually your flaws start to show, and your partner has to learn how to deal with them.

Recognizing that all relationships take work will keep you from feeling disappointed later on.

Frequency Of Intimate Relationships

Everyone has different needs, so there is no correct frequency for sex. If you want to have sex more or less often, talk to your partner and figure out what works for you both.

Happy Couples Do Fight

All couples have differences, and fighting is not a sign that you’re with the wrong person. It’s healthy to debate issues and accept that there will be disagreement.

What’s important is being diplomatic during arguments, and not judging or being critical of your partner. Speaking the truth without blame and judgment will establish trust and strengthen your bond.

'Opposites Attract' Beliefs

Although looking for someone who has the qualities you lack brings some benefits, it’s also a big plus to have similarities in your personal history, as well as interests in common. 

Coming from a similar background will make it easier for you and your partner to relate to one another.

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Talking About Problems

Intimacy requires both partners to share and disclose concerns from time to time. But men and women have very different tolerances for "relationship talk, " which requires sacrifice from both to...

Having Separate Lives

Being independent, having your own interests, activities, and friends add excitement and freshness to relationships. But couples who live parallel lives and don't invite their spouse into their world on a regular basis tend to grow apart and be unhappy over the long term.

Perfect Relationsh And Conflict

Lack of conflict may just mean that you’re not dealing with existing issues. And research indicates that couples who report no conflict are not very happy over time.

Don't shy away from difficult conversations. Learning how to disagree in a healthy, productive manner is a key component of happy relationships.

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Good Relationships Take Work
Good Relationships Take Work

Merging your own ever-shifting life, needs and wants with those of another person takes work if it is to succeed.

How much work it actually takes might ebb and flow, but expect to inve...

Your Partner’s Flaws

Loving your partner's flaws is not always realistic. Some people have habits that are slightly disgusting and impossible to "love." 

Simply accepting them and learning how to shrug them off and minimize their importance is much more realistic.

Going To Bed Angry

The context might be such that you just can’t solve a problem before bed. Be realistic and settle for an agreement to never go to bed without at least deciding when to continue the discussion or argument.

Also, some people actually need to cool down before they can continue a productive discussion, so taking a break could be wise.

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Rekindling the Fire

Many couples have reached a cozy state of companionship. The humdrumness of life affects the long-term relationship.

It is not uncommon to lose the 'fire' and is unrealistic to expect consis...

Love Progression

As the initial stage of love fades away, a deeper, richer sense of each other should take its place, and couples can find more ways to make things interesting and fun.

Look With New Eyes

Staying curious about each other and finding things, memories, places, and activities that are yet to be shared or experienced together is a great way to rekindle the relationship.
Revisiting your past and finding ways to connect better by looking at the other with 'new' eyes makes us see many things that were overlooked earlier.

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Go to bed at the same time

Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. 

They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.

Cultivate common interests

Don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. 

At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevents you from appearing too dependent.

Trust and forgiveness

If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

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Conflict mistaken for passion

Arguments and disagreements in relationships are normal, but screaming matches and every day fighting isn’t.

People who seek out conflict in their relationship for the intens...

Keeping the peace

Ignoring problems in a relationship in order to avoid conflict will only mean that the problems pile up until they can no longer be ignored – and by then, it might be too hard to fix.

Keeping score

Keeping track of the things that you do, versus the things that they do is a way to create pressure and conflict where there should only be teamwork. 

Sit down together and work out a plan on things like chores or bills, and who does or pays what.

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You focus more on what's wrong

... rather than what's right.

You can focus on what a lazy, forgetful, good-for-nothing partner you have or you can see them as a wonderful and loving partne...

You'd rather be right

... than in love. Even though it may seem justified when your partner falls short or makes a mistake, choosing a righteous response will only damage trust and create lingering resentment. 

Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. It builds up appreciation, good will and a desire to do even better to please you next time.

Don't make it about you
  • Acknowledge that your partner has needs that also deserve to be met. Do your best to be the one who can help them meet their needs better than anyone else. 
  • When you take things personally and get your feelings hurt too easily, it closes off communication, makes problem-solving nearly impossible and leaves you both at risk. Look for the common ground instead of the insult.

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On Commitment

Commitment begins with desire. Each person has to want it and be willing to sacrifice for the other. It takes shifting the way we view ourselves and giving up something, in order to g...

1. Positive Experiences

A great confidence and commitment builder in a relationship is a shared, positive experience with the person you love. Think of the identity of your relationship — how you and your partner perceive it to be.

Take the negative, funny things and turn them into positive experiences. And take the positive experiences and live through the memories and build toward new experiences.

2. Committing In Thoughts And Actions

There will be easy, seamless days, but there will also be conflict and struggle. Relationships take work. Value your time with your partner.

Go “all in” and think about what will make that person happy, ways to improve your relationship or to help ease their burden. Show with words and actions that you care. 

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Pain after workout

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Calories burned by stair climbing

Walking up the stairs is perceived by the body as effort. Even a person who plays sports will sooner or later feel the typical tension in the muscles. 

If you have reached the point when simply walking up the stairs is too easy for you, use weights or try skipping one or two steps (if there are no medical contraindications).

Exercise vs. Diet

Fitness coaches all over the world are unanimous in their opinions that success in building a beautiful body is 30% dependent on exercise and 70% on nutrition...

Exercise vs. Diet

Fitness coaches all over the world are unanimous in their opinions that success in building a beautiful body is 30% dependent on exercise and 70% on nutrition.

However, even the most rigorous workout can only cover the caloric value of one chocolate bar, at most. 

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The Negativity Bias
The Negativity Bias
... or the Negativity Effect is a tendency most of us have to respond more strongly to negative events and emotions than to positive ones.
Any further action that is ...
Magnified Faults

The Negativity Effect magnifies and distorts your partner's faults, whether real or imaginary.

The partner starts to wonder why isn't there any appreciation for all the good that is being done, and why the focus is only on the one bad thing.

Going Downhill

Relationships, especially long-term ones, don't get better with time but are kept intact by avoiding decline.

Married couples find contentment in other sources and remain satisfied with each other, and if not so, then the marriage breaks down.

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Pay attention and be present

When your significant other is speaking, it is of the utmost importance to try your best to give your undivided attention.

Too much multi-tasking when conversations are important can be damag...

Be emotionally available

It is important to be emotionally available to your significant other. Share your emotions, your thoughts and feelings with your partner and be willing to hear theirs. This creates a very strong emotional bond for both.

Be supportive

As partners, you should strive to be each other’s biggest cheerleaders. 

We all need support and should be able to find it in our intimate relationships.

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