Openness
It means seeing things for what they are, not what we think they should be.
To cultivate openness, we have to become aware of our misconceptions, default beliefs, biases, expectations and stereotypes about the world and actively try to overcome them. Keeping a Decision Journal is a good way to start.
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It means being able to look at yourself with perspective and distance.
Real-time self-reflection requires us to shift our attention away from what’s happening outside and instead observe what’s happening inside. Mindfulness meditation practice is the best way to cultivate this ability.
It means separating your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors from your identity and sense of self. We are more than the contents of our minds (thoughts, emotions, desires).
Keeping a Thought Diary is a helpful way to reinforce this understanding.
It's the ability to pay attention to your own thoughts, emotions, decisions, and behaviors.
There are three skills that can be practiced and will lead to better self-reflection: openness, observation, and objectivity.
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- Practice mindfulness meditation, focusing your attention to your breath or a mantra.
- Note the thought and ‘park’ it, reminding yourself to tackle it later.
- Do not distract yourself in a way that makes your mind rebound towards the unwanted thought you are trying to avoid.
- Do not take comfort or reassurance in others, as it can be a cause of false beliefs and incorrect notions.
- Do not worry, ruminate or delve into negative self-talk.
This actually makes it harder to control your aggression.
The solution is to turn the relationship around. Acknowledge and accept your anger for what it is. Then, direct your efforts at control toward your aggression.
If negative thinking becomes incessant, it can lead to depression and self-destructive behavior. At minimum, negative thinking saps our energy, erodes our self-confidence and can put us in a bad mood.
Certainly, many would agree that our thoughts come and go so quickly that it’s seems impossible to notice them, but with awareness and an attitude of self-compassion, we can redirect our negative thoughts to more positive ones.