Getting To The Root Of Your Reluctance

Getting To The Root Of Your Reluctance

If you find it difficult to share your past experiences, ask yourself why you are reluctant to open up. Getting to the root of the reluctance is key.

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@cronkk

Love & Family

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Consider communicating to your partner that you are having a hard time opening up and may need extra time.

... before you talk about something important.

Invite your partner to sit down with you, without distractions, and let them know that you want to talk to them. Let them know how you feel and that you find it important to feel emotionally safe with them.

Practice Being Vulnerable

Practicing vulnerability includes knowing your vulnerability and expressing your real thoughts instead of what you think your thoughts and wants should be.

Work Out Your Feelings First

Before you talk to your partner about something difficult, find the right words to express it first. Until you can verbalize it, it remains unknown to you and to your partner.

If you do not feel safe enough to talk through these issues, consider journaling, or talking with a counsellor until you are clear about how you are feeling.

When you decide to open up, start by taking small steps to test the waters first.

The more you practice and see that you can do it, the easier it will get for you to open up.

It's good to be honest about what you need or want from your partner after you open up.

Let them know that you do not need to be fixed. The purpose is to connect.

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RELATED IDEAS

Codependency in relationships means being overly preoccupied with your partner to the point of losing your own sense of who you are and what you need. 

Partners in an interdependent or secure relationship put the relationship first. Not their partner.

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IDEAS

Interdependence

Being dependent on another person can be unhealthy. Independence, taken to an extreme, can actually get in the way of us being able to connect emotionally with others in a meaningful way. 

Interdependence suggests that partners recognize and value the importance of the emotional bond they share while maintaining a solid sense of self within the relationship dynamic. 

Two relationship complaints

The two worst things in a relationship are:

  • The thought of a partner leaving.  
  • The frustration of a partner not sharing their feelings.

If people are ill-equipped to manage the anxiety when a partner doesn't want to share their feelings, they resort to crowding their partner emotionally with 'Talk to me! Tell me how you feel. Share with me.''

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