Don't Neglect The Emotional Part - Deepstash
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Don't Neglect The Emotional Part

Neglecting the emotional part of the argument and focusing solely on facts and information is a common blunder.

A better way is to ask open-ended questions and try to find the root cause of the argument. For example, one could ask: “This clearly matters to you, can you help me understand why?”

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Disagreements cannot be resolved over Slack or Email. Try to do them in person, or at least over the phone.

Make sure your environment is neutral, and if anything can hamper the discussion, change the venue.

Anxiety spikes happen when something triggers us during an argument, usually when what that we care about feels threatened.

We need to be aware of these spikes to guide us into the emotional aspect of the argument, rather than only focusing on information.

Biases are your ready-made encyclopedia of all the answers you need to prove yourself right, which can be a disaster in any argument.

Hold off your biases and try to find growth and new perspectives that come out of a productive disagreement. Take the conversation as a learning opportun...

A common mistake during arguments is when we speak on behalf of other people and groups.
Arguments then become a free-for-all, as anyone can jump in and argue back. Also, we tend to exaggerate, oversimplify and stereotype when we speak outside of our own experience, making our position ...

Keeping an open mind gives you a wider field of view.

Turn off the clinical brain that just wants knowable answers quickly, and see the world through the other's perspective, noticing things you may have blocked or overlooked.

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There are three different realms of an argument:

  • Head-based arguments are about the truth, based on facts and verifiable information.
  • Heart-based arguments are about meaning, personal taste and moral values.
  • Hand-based arguments are about usefulness...

Improving conversations

Differing opinions and debates are good things as they help us balance each other out and move us forward as a society. But, such discussions can often turn into a situation where feelings are hurt, egos are wounded, and rifts end up much deeper than before.

This kind of damage is easily a...

Mastering the art of considerate disagreement means expressing your beliefs without shutting down the discussion or angering the other side.

For this to happen, you have to listen more, be willing to change your perspective on disagreement and learn to better your arguments.