We Are Strangers To Ourselves - Deepstash
The Imposter Cure

Learn more about mindfulness with this collection

Strategies for building self-confidence

Techniques for embracing your strengths and accomplishments

Tips for seeking support and feedback

The Imposter Cure

Discover 46 similar ideas in

It takes just

15 mins to read

We Are Strangers To Ourselves

We Are Strangers To Ourselves

Introspection is blind to construction. This does not mean that our introspective guesses are never accurate, just as you might guess the correct answer to a multiple-choice question.

When you don’t know the actual facts about yourself, your consciousness pieces together a compelling story, much in the same way it does when you’re trying to read the minds of other people to make sense of why they act as they do.

Introspection makes us feel like we know what’s going on in our own heads, even when we don’t. We don't realize that we’re spinning a story rather than reporting the facts.


2.35K reads


The Curse Of Shyness

one common laboratory technique for creating fast friends is to have two strangers disclose private thoughts or memories to each other. This is why shyness is one of social life’s biggest curses. 

Companies truly understand their customers better when they get their perspec...


448 reads

The Mental Shortcut To Simplify Life

The Mental Shortcut To Simplify Life

The language of intentions and motives and other mental states avoids this complication altogether by using the same set of concepts to explain all actions. We use the idea of consciousness and intent and prescribe it to everything.

This mentalistic language is both imprecise and inaccurat...


889 reads

We Believe We Know People Better Than We Actually Do

We Believe We Know People Better Than We Actually Do

Getting to know someone, even over a lifetime of marriage, creates an illusion of insight that far surpasses actual insight.

The violent actors are overwhelmed by empathy for their own group, which all too often naturally leads to disdain for competing groups.


1.58K reads

Naive Realism – The Human Curse

  • Naïve realism: the intuitive sense that we see the world out there as it actually is, rather than as it appears from our own perspective. 
  • When other people don’t share your views, the all-too-common sentiment that comes straight from naïve realism is “I’m right and you’re ...


1.89K reads

The Minds Ways

Religious beliefs are intuitively compelling because minds—in this case, the mind of a god—are intuitive explanations for the behavior of almost anything.

Two very important things about when minds emerge in both humans and nonhumans.  

  • First, they tend to emerge when someone has...


801 reads

We Define by Differences not by Similarities

We Define by Differences not by Similarities

You define yourself not by the attributes that make you the same as everyone else—has two arms, two legs, breathes air—but, rather, by the attributes that make you different from everyone else—spent

A group defined by its similarity to others is, by definition, no group at all. Your socia...


378 reads

We Are Not On The Spotlight

We Are Not On The Spotlight

Childhood instincts are not outgrown so much as they are overcome by more careful and reflective thinking.

As we grow up we learn nuances of a situation. Even in small groups, the social spotlight does not shine on us nearly as brightly as we think.

Becoming aware of the power of y...


500 reads

The Role Is The Problem

We then developed a household policy of complete immunity as long as you tell the truth. This combination of delay and immunity has worked wonders for us. 

  • When the employee fears retribution and the boss isn’t open to hearing the truth, nobody speaks their mind and the event becomes p...


400 reads


“Have you ever noticed that everyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”



2.71K reads

Social Influences

Social Influences

  • Human beings are more likely to do things that are easy rather than hard. They don’t have some deep desire to litter; they’re just more likely to do whatever is going on around them.
  • And so you do what social animals do when they’re unsure: you look to other people for information...


342 reads

The Two EgoCentric Biases

  • What you pay attention to
  • Your interpretation of what you are paying attention to

The two different versions of egocentric biases, are produced by differences in attention (the neck problem) and the differences in interpretation (the lens problem).  


436 reads

Giving Things A Mind Of Their Own

  • We give things a mind when we can’t truly understand why something has happened.
  • Studies reveal that people report that unpredictable gadgets seemed more mindful than predictable gadgets.
  • When geometrical figures assume personal characteristics, a unified structure emerges. U...


667 reads

Social Disengagement

By remaining disengaged from other minds in this way, we neglect a chief source of human happiness: engaging relationally with other people. 


1.17K reads

Get The Perspective Of The Other

  • The relatively slow work of getting a person’s perspective is the way you understand them accurately, and the way you solve their problems most effectively. 
  • The main barrier to getting perspective is that others won’t tell you what you’d like to know. They lie, mislead, misdirect, a...


348 reads

Beware of your own Biases

  • Distortions like this are easy to find. When your own views are one-sided, a balanced account will necessarily differ from your own perspective, and the errors in reporting will therefore seem to exist in them rather than in you. 
  • The problem of expertise is one of many examples of m...


414 reads

Observing The Eyes

Observing The Eyes

As a member of one of the planet’s most social species, you are hypersensitive to eyes because they offer a window into another person’s mind.

Given the obvious benefits of attending to others’ eyes, it makes good sense that we would be hypersensitive to anything that even vaguely resembl...


686 reads

Fighting The Other Person

Your sixth sense functions only when you engage it. When you do not, you may fail to recognize a fully human mind that is right before your eyes. Said differently, sometimes we are triggered to engage with the mind of another and other times we are not. 

When you can’t see a human in front ...


1.16K reads

We Deduct Based On What We Have Seen

The basic principles of perception described here are simple, based almost entirely on similarity: “if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, then it must be a duck.” 


721 reads

Group Stereotypes

  • Anyone who’s ever spoken in front of a large audience or walked down a crowded city sidewalk can confirm this. Individuals within large groups are almost invisible. 
  • What your brain extracts automatically from a group is an overall assessment, not its distinct individuals. 
  • O...


416 reads

People Are Complex

By thinking that their employees have simplistic motives, bosses overlook the actual depth of their employees’ minds and therefore fail to offer their workers what really motivates them. 


1.27K reads

Don't Believe Anything

Nature is filled with fakes. Lithops are deliciously succulent plants that look like completely inedible rocks. The praying mantis is a perfectly deadly predator that can look like a completely harmless plant. You don’t need a PhD in evolutionary biology to understand fakery. 


703 reads

The Context Matters

When a man looks into the camera and renounces his citizenship, you have every reason to assume that he means what he says. When that camera zooms out to show a jihadist holding a gun to the man’s head in one hand and a script in the other, you know his words are misleading. 

The problem is...


351 reads

Our Reality Vs Reality

When others’ minds are unknown, the mind you imagine is based heavily on your own. So, it is heavily distorted by your reality. 

Neural regions that are active when actually experiencing physical pain firsthand also being active when watching other people experiencing pain.


1.72K reads

Our Perspective Is Unique

As Galileo knew, to see the world accurately, you need to look in the right place and then view it through the right lens. These are two pieces of wisdom that you and I can easily forget. 

A man on one side of a river shouts to a man standing on the other side, “Hey, how do I get to th...


566 reads

Changing The Behaviour

Much more effective for changing behaviour is targeting the broader context rather than individual minds, making it easier for people to do the things they already want to do. 

Statistics (the numbers) doesn’t reveal the context. Therefore the fundamental problem that plagues all statistics...


341 reads

A World Of Differences

Stereotypes routinely stray beyond observation and into explanation. When groups differ, the easy answer is that the differences are due to something essential, internal, or stable about the group members, rather than to something external and therefore unstable, such as social norms and hair dye...


355 reads

Understanding The Mind Of The Other

When we’re seeking to understand another’s mind, we rely on at least three strategies.  

1. We project from our own mind. 

2. Use stereotypes.  

3. Infer a mind from a person’s actions. 


680 reads




Doctor general practice

Mindwise Book Summary explores why we see human motivations in inanimate objects, why we fight others and why we are strangers to ourselves. If you’re interested in human behaviour and why people separate others into groups, this is the book for you.

Related Collection


Everybody Contains Some Story To Be Tell

Everybody Contains Some Story To Be Tell

People, all of them, have stories and secrets we’ll never know, so we project our best guess. We fill in the blanks of their lives. We write a quick story and believe it but we don’t give them a chance to read it, critique it, help us see that we create assumptions instead of connection when we c...

Ready for the next level?

Read Like a Pro


Explore the World’s

Best Ideas

200,000+ ideas on pretty much any topic. Created by the smartest people around & well-organized so you can explore at will.

An Idea for Everything

Explore the biggest library of insights. And we've infused it with powerful filtering tools so you can easily find what you need.

Knowledge Library

Powerful Saving & Organizational Tools

Save ideas for later reading, for personalized stashes, or for remembering it later.

# Personal Growth

Take Your Ideas


Organize your ideas & listen on the go. And with Pro, there are no limits.

Listen on the go

Just press play and we take care of the words.

Never worry about spotty connections

No Internet access? No problem. Within the mobile app, all your ideas are available, even when offline.

Get Organized with Stashes

Ideas for your next work project? Quotes that inspire you? Put them in the right place so you never lose them.


2 Million Stashers


5,740 Reviews

App Store


72,690 Reviews

Google Play

Ashley Anthony

This app is LOADED with RELEVANT, HELPFUL, AND EDUCATIONAL material. It is creatively intellectual, yet minimal enough to not overstimulate and create a learning block. I am exceptionally impressed with this app!

Sean Green

Great interesting short snippets of informative articles. Highly recommended to anyone who loves information and lacks patience.

Shankul Varada

Best app ever! You heard it right. This app has helped me get back on my quest to get things done while equipping myself with knowledge everyday.


Don’t look further if you love learning new things. A refreshing concept that provides quick ideas for busy thought leaders.

Ghazala Begum

Even five minutes a day will improve your thinking. I've come across new ideas and learnt to improve existing ways to become more motivated, confident and happier.

Giovanna Scalzone

Brilliant. It feels fresh and encouraging. So many interesting pieces of information that are just enough to absorb and apply. So happy I found this.

Laetitia Berton

I have only been using it for a few days now, but I have found answers to questions I had never consciously formulated, or to problems I face everyday at work or at home. I wish I had found this earlier, highly recommended!

Jamyson Haug

Great for quick bits of information and interesting ideas around whatever topics you are interested in. Visually, it looks great as well.

Read & Learn

20x Faster





Access to 200,000+ ideas

Access to the mobile app

Unlimited idea saving & library

Unlimited history

Unlimited listening to ideas

Downloading & offline access

Personalized recommendations


Claim Your Limited Offer

Get Deepstash Pro

Supercharge your mind with one idea per day

Enter your email and spend 1 minute every day to learn something new.


I agree to receive email updates