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How to Be Assertive and Stand up for Yourself the Smart Way

Agree to disagree

Being assertive Is about boundary setting, not winning.

Part of being assertive is stating your boundaries and illustrating very clearly (with examples) the line the other parties should not cross. 

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

How to Be Assertive and Stand up for Yourself the Smart Way

How to Be Assertive and Stand up for Yourself the Smart Way

https://www.lifehack.org/819319/how-to-be-assertive

lifehack.org

6

Key Ideas

Learning to be assertive

Being assertive means learning to manage your energy, plan your approach and craft your message in a way that maximizes potential for the other person, to be open to receiving and accepting it.

Acknowledge and don't react

  1. Make it known you noticed that underhanded insinuation by pausing and directing your attention to it.
  2. Calmly state you will revisit what they said, the action they took or the decision they made at another point. And you don’t ask it as a question; you make a statement.

Pause and reflect to gain clarity

Give yourself space to come to terms with what you experienced before being able to consider what action to take next.

Get clear on your values. It’s important that you understand within yourself first, the nature and reason behind the battle you choose to fight.

Seek to understand first

Stepping into the other person’s perspective is not about dismissing your feelings or compromising your values and principles. 

It helps you to communicate in a language the other person will understand.

Agree to disagree

Being assertive Is about boundary setting, not winning.

Part of being assertive is stating your boundaries and illustrating very clearly (with examples) the line the other parties should not cross. 

Construct your argument well

  • Choose your timing wisely
  • Be prepared to have examples and stories, to give a stronger, clearer message
  • Avoid placing blame
  • Stick with the facts and describe the emotional and impact upon you with diplomacy.

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  • Boundaries allow us to conserve our emotional energy. Without them, self-esteem and identity can be affected, and you can build resentment toward others.
  • Boundaries give us space to grow and be vulnerable. 
Determine your borders

Our boundaries are shaped by

  • our heritage or culture
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  • our life experiences
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Boundaries are a deeply personal choice and vary from person to person. You can investigate and define your boundaries with self-reflection.

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Emotional Intelligence (EQ or EI) can be defined as the ability to understand, manage, and effectively express one's own feelings, as well as engage and navigate successfully with those of oth...
Reduce Negative Emotions

... so they don't overwhelm you and affect your judgment. 

In order to change the way you feel about a situation, you must first change the way you think about it. 

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Stay Cool and Manage Stress

How we handle stressful situations can make the difference between being assertive versus reactive, and poised versus frazzled. When under pressure, the most important thing to keep in mind is to keep our cool. 

  • If you feel nervous and anxious, put cold water on your face and get some fresh air. 
  • If you feel fearful, depressed, or discouraged, try intense aerobic exercises. Energize yourself. 

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But gaining that influence, like learning...

Build Trust

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