Forgiveness takes time for most. Shock and anger often come before forgiveness. Deal with the hurt feelings before moving into forgiveness.
The act of forgiving is one of realizing that holding onto the anger and resentment no longer carries the same weight on us.
MORE IDEAS FROM The Psychology of Forgiveness
Forgiveness can involve drawing boundaries for yourself.
The biggest aspect will involve going through the impact the betrayal had on your life. Understanding the factors that contributed to the betrayal can help to get to a place of acceptance. Letter writing is often a powerful tool in doing this work.
One roadblock people face with forgiveness is the idea of being seen as "weak" and saying that what the offender did is excusable.
It requires more strength to forgive. Staying angry, resentful, and vengeful can have a detrimental impact on your physical and emotional health as well as your relationships.
It’s highly unlikely that you’ll ever be able to forget a serious wrong committed against you. But it’s a mistake to assume that because your mind is drawn to a specific thought or memory, you should allow your attention to stay there.
Acknowledge your memories but then choose to re-focus your attention elsewhere.
Social life can be full of uncertainty. Friends don't always smile back at you. Strangers sometimes look upset. The question is how you interpret these situations. Do you take everything personally or do you think there are reasons they behave that way that has nothing to do with you?
While most people tend to overcome socially ambiguity with ease, knowing it is unavoidable, other people tend to see themselves as perpetual victims. They believe that one's life is entirely under the control of forces outside one's self.
This can be a gradual process—and it doesn't necessarily include the person who wronged you.
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