The Psychology of Forgiveness
Forgiveness takes time for most. Shock and anger often come before forgiveness. Deal with the hurt feelings before moving into forgiveness.
The act of forgiving is one of realizing that holding onto the anger and resentment no longer carries the same weight on us.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or minimising the pain we feel; nor is it about excusing others.
Forgiveness means making a conscious and deliberate decision to let go of our fe...
One thing that often helps people to forgive is receiving an apology.
A good apology ideally has three parts: an admission of responsibility, a demonstration of sorrow, and doing something to remedy the offence, or prevent a repetition of it.
An apology is not telling others we feel sorry they are angry it is telling them we understand why they are angry with us, regret making them feel that way, and wanting to take their anger away.
An effective apology is showing the person we understand why they are hurting.
Social life can be full of uncertainty. Friends don't always smile back at you. Strangers sometimes look upset. The question is how you interpret these situations. Do you take everythin...
Researchers found the tendency for interpersonal victimhood consists of four main dimensions:
In interpersonal conflict, all parties are motivated to maintain a positive moral self-image. However, different parties are likely to create very different subjective realities. Offenders tend to downplay the severity of the transgression, and victims tend to perceive the offenders' motivations as immoral.
The mindset one develops - as a victim or a perpetrator - affects the way the situation is perceived and remembered.
It’s highly unlikely that you’ll ever be able to forget a serious wrong committed against you. But it’s a mistake to assume that because your mind is drawn to a specific thought or memor...
It’s normal to feel anger towards your offender. But unchecked anger often leads to unhelpful amounts of mental elaboration over the wrongs done to you.
When you notice yourself feeling angry, pause briefly and acknowledge the anger, then ask yourself if your anger will do you any good in the long-term. Just because your anger is justified doesn’t mean it’s helpful.
Acceptance does not mean endorsement or justification. Acceptance means acknowledging that you don’t have power or control over the past.
Accept the offense against you without excusing it. The key to taking control of your future is choosing to let go of the desire to control the past.