#5: The Law of Motivation - Deepstash
Conversation Starters

Learn more about books with this collection

How to ask open-ended questions

How to avoid awkward silences

How to show interest in others

Conversation Starters

Discover 66 similar ideas in

It takes just

9 mins to read

#5: The Law of Motivation

These false motives and others keep us from setting boundaries: 

  1. Fear of loss of love, or abandonment. 
  2. Fear of others’ anger.
  3. Fear of loneliness. 
  4. Fear of losing the “good me” inside.
  5. Guilt
  6. Payback.
  7. Approval
  8.  Overidentification with the other’s loss.

Freedom first, service second. If you serve to get free of your fear, you are doomed to failure. Let God work on the fears, resolve them, and create some healthy boundaries to guard the freedom you were called to.

205

1.44K reads

MORE IDEAS ON THIS

HENRY CLOUD

“Things can hurt and not harm us. In fact they can even be good for us. And things that feel good can be very harmful to us.”

HENRY CLOUD

200

1.41K reads

HENRY CLOUD

“Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.” 

HENRY CLOUD

213

3.33K reads

#10: The Law of Exposure

A boundary is a property line. It defines where you begin and end. We have been discussing why you need such a line. One reason stands above all the others: You do not exist in a vacuum. You exist in relation to God and others. Your boundaries define you in relation to others.

The L...

192

1.28K reads

#7: The Law of Proactivity

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

Do not try to get to freedom without owning your reactive period and feelings. You do not need to act this out, but you do need to express the feelings. You need to practice and gain assertiveness. You need to get far eno...

191

1.17K reads

#9: The Law of Activity

When a baby bird is ready to hatch, if you break the egg for the bird, it will die. The bird must peck its own way out of the egg into the world. This aggressive “workout” strengthens the bird, allowing it to function in the outside world. Robbed of this responsibility, it will die.

201

1.25K reads

HENRY CLOUD

"When one person is in control of another, love cannot grow deeply and fully, as there is no freedom.”  

HENRY CLOUD

239

4.68K reads

HENRY CLOUD

"The most basic boundary-setting word is “no.” It lets others know that we exist apart from them and that we are in control of ourselves.”

HENRY CLOUD

216

3.2K reads

10 Laws of Boundaries

  1. The Law of Sowing and Reaping
  2. The Law of Responsibility
  3. The Law of Power
  4. The Law of Respect
  5. The Law of Motivation
  6. The Law of Evaluation
  7. The Law of Proactivity
  8. The Law of Envy
  9. The Law of Activity
  10. The Law of Exposure

222

2.75K reads

#1: The Law of Sowing and Reaping

“You reap whatever you sow. If you sow to your own flesh, you will reap corruption from the flesh; but if you sow to the Spirit, you will reap eternal life from the Spirit”

 Sometimes, however, people don’t reap what they sow, because someone else steps in ...

207

2.3K reads

HENRY CLOUD

“True intimacy is only build around the freedom to disagree.”

HENRY CLOUD

201

1.83K reads

#6: The Law of Evaluation

You need to evaluate the effects of setting boundaries and be responsible to the other person, but that does not mean you should avoid setting boundaries because someone responds with hurt or anger.

We need to evaluate the pain our confrontation causes other people. We need...

193

1.23K reads

#3: The Law of Power

  1. Confession: You have the power to agree with the truth about your problems.
  2. You have the power to submit your inability to God. 
  3. You have the power to search and ask God and others to reveal more and more about what is within your boundaries.

197

1.63K reads

Creating Boundaries

  1. Say 'NO' to bad
  2. Avoid saying 'NO' to good.
  3. Respect other's boundaries (when they say 'NO')

218

3.4K reads

#4: The Law of Respect

We fear that others will not respect our boundaries. We focus on others and lose clarity about ourselves.

If we love and respect people who tell us no, they will love and respect our no. Freedom begets freedom.

201

1.66K reads

#2: The Law of Responsibility

Many times when people hear a talk on boundaries and taking responsibility for their own lives, they say, “That’s so self-centered. We should love one another and deny ourselves.” Or, they actually become selfish and self-centered. Or, they feel “guilty” when they do someone a favor. 

192

1.97K reads

#8: The Law of Envy

Your envy should always be a sign to you that you are lacking something. At that moment, you should ask God to help you understand what you resent, why you do not have whatever you are envying, and whether you truly desire it. Ask him to show you what you need to do to get there, or to give up th...

202

1.27K reads

What is Boundaries

Boundaries are just like a 'property line in one's life'. Just like in real life you have a property and the property line. Whatever is inside the property line is your responsibility and you have control over those. If anything bad happens there then you will feel sorrow for that. 

Boundar...

206

3.1K reads

CURATED FROM

CURATED BY

ssuman24

A learner who loves to share wisdom on personal growth, happiness, and success on Deepstash. Topics include motivation, habits, goals, and mindset. Believes that everyone can achieve their dreams with the right attitude and action.

This book will tell about how to set boundaries to our mental world.

stash-superman-illustration

Explore the World’s

Best Ideas

200,000+ ideas on pretty much any topic. Created by the smartest people around & well-organized so you can explore at will.

An Idea for Everything

Explore the biggest library of insights. And we've infused it with powerful filtering tools so you can easily find what you need.

Knowledge Library

Powerful Saving & Organizational Tools

Save ideas for later reading, for personalized stashes, or for remembering it later.

# Personal Growth

Take Your Ideas

Anywhere

Organize your ideas & listen on the go. And with Pro, there are no limits.

Listen on the go

Just press play and we take care of the words.

Never worry about spotty connections

No Internet access? No problem. Within the mobile app, all your ideas are available, even when offline.

Get Organized with Stashes

Ideas for your next work project? Quotes that inspire you? Put them in the right place so you never lose them.

Join

2 Million Stashers

4.8

5,740 Reviews

App Store

4.7

72,690 Reviews

Google Play

Sean Green

Great interesting short snippets of informative articles. Highly recommended to anyone who loves information and lacks patience.

Ashley Anthony

This app is LOADED with RELEVANT, HELPFUL, AND EDUCATIONAL material. It is creatively intellectual, yet minimal enough to not overstimulate and create a learning block. I am exceptionally impressed with this app!

samz905

Don’t look further if you love learning new things. A refreshing concept that provides quick ideas for busy thought leaders.

Shankul Varada

Best app ever! You heard it right. This app has helped me get back on my quest to get things done while equipping myself with knowledge everyday.

Ghazala Begum

Even five minutes a day will improve your thinking. I've come across new ideas and learnt to improve existing ways to become more motivated, confident and happier.

Laetitia Berton

I have only been using it for a few days now, but I have found answers to questions I had never consciously formulated, or to problems I face everyday at work or at home. I wish I had found this earlier, highly recommended!

Jamyson Haug

Great for quick bits of information and interesting ideas around whatever topics you are interested in. Visually, it looks great as well.

Giovanna Scalzone

Brilliant. It feels fresh and encouraging. So many interesting pieces of information that are just enough to absorb and apply. So happy I found this.

Read & Learn

20x Faster

without
deepstash

with
deepstash

with

deepstash

Access to 200,000+ ideas

Access to the mobile app

Unlimited idea saving & library

Unlimited history

Unlimited listening to ideas

Downloading & offline access

Personalized recommendations

Supercharge your mind with one idea per day

Enter your email and spend 1 minute every day to learn something new.

Email

I agree to receive email updates