For good negotiators, "No" is pure gold.Why?That negative provides a great opportunity for you and the other party to clarify what you really want by eliminating what you don't want.Remember:"No" is a safe choice that maintains the status quo; it provides a temporary oasis of control.

Beware "yes", master "no"

Saying "No" often spurs people to action because they feel they've protected themselves and now see an opportunity slipping away.Remember:"No" is not a failure. Used strategically it's an answer that opens the path forward.

"No" is protection

When you preserve a person's autonomy by clearly giving them permission to say "No" to your ideas, the emotions calm, the effectiveness of the decisions go up, and the other party can really look at your proposal.Remember:Great negotiators seek "No" because they know that's often when the real negotiation begins.

Let them say "No"

When someone tells you "No", rethink the word in one of its alternative meanings:<ul><li>I am not yet ready to agree</li><li>You are making me feel uncomfortable</li><li>I do not understand</li><li>I don't think I can afford that</li><li>I want something else</li><li>I need more information</li><li>I want to talk it over with someone else</li></ul>Then, after pausing, ask solution-based questions or label their effect:<ul><li>"What about this doesn't work for you?"</li></ul>Remember:People have a need to say "No." So don't just hope to hear it at some point; get them to say it early.

Train yourself to hear "No"

We've been conditioned to fear the word "No". But is a statement of perception far more often than of fact. "No" is often a decision, frequently temporary, to maintain the status quo.Remember:Change is scary, and "No" provides a little protection from that scariness.

All starts with "No"

<ul><li>"No" allows real problems to come to light</li><li>"No" protects people from making bad decisions</li><li>"No" slows things down so people can think through their decisions</li><li>"No" helps people feel safe, secure, emotionally comfortable and in control of their decisions</li><li> "No" boosts everyone's efforts</li></ul>Remember:As Dallas Mavericks said "Every 'No' gets me closer to a 'Yes'"

The skills of "No"

<ul><li> Counterfeit: When the counterpart wants to say "no" but feels that "yes" is an easier exit route or just wants you to keep talking to get information. </li><li>Confirmation: It is usually innocent; sometimes it is used to set a trap but almost always it is a simple statement without promise. </li><li>Commitment: It is the one that matters, it is the real agreement that leads to action. This is the one you should be looking for. </li></ul>Remember:An early "Yes" is often just a cheap, counterfeit dodge.

3 types of "Yes"

No deal is better than a bad deal

If despite all your efforts, the other party won't say "No", you're dealing with people who are indecisive or confused or who have a hidden agenda. In cases like that you have to end the negotiation and walk away.Think of it like this: No "No" means go

Force the "No"

A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home. After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference takes you inside the world of high-stakes negotiations and into Voss’s head, revealing the skills that helped him and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. In this practical guide, he shares the nine effective principles—counterintuitive tactics and strategies—you too can use to become more persuasive in both your professional and personal life. Life is a series of negotiations you should be prepared for: buying a car, negotiating a salary, buying a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner. Taking emotional intelligence and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.

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A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home.After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference takes you inside the world of high-stakes negotiations and into Voss’s head, revealing the skills that helped him and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. In this practical guide, he shares the nine effective principles—counterintuitive tactics and strategies—you too can use to become more persuasive in both your professional and personal life.Life is a series of negotiations you should be prepared for: buying a car, negotiating a salary, buying a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner. Taking emotional intelligence and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.

A 24 year veteran of the FBI, Chris Voss is one of the preeminent practitioners and professors of negotiating skills in the world. He is the founder and principal of The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations. Voss has taught for many business schools, including the University of Southern California's Marshall School of Business, Georgetown University's McDonough School of Business, Harvard University, MIT's Sloan School of Management, and Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management, among others.

Chris Voss

Tahl Raz is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Tahl Raz has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Tahl Raz's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Let them say "No"

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