Saying NO without guilt
- Notice how often people around you say no to each other every day. Also watch how others handle these situations.
- When you feel pressured for a yes, ask for time. It will allow you to calm down and evaluate whether you really want to do it ( "I need to check my calendar; I'll get back to you"/ "I've got to think about that; I'll let you know.")
- Saying no comfortably requires you to think what your values are. When you live by clear principles, it's easier to make decisions. People are more likely to respect your responses.
- Keep telling them that you can't help them. Then stay on repeat, even if they bring new angles of reasoning.
- When you want to help but can't commit to the specifics, make a counteroffer. You can offer someone a different resource or the name of someone else who might help.
MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE
You're asked to do something, and you feel you should say no. However, if you say no, you'll be resented, so you are tempted to say yes. If you say yes, you're going to be frustrated with yourself and angry with them.
Research shows this cycle of awful feelings does damage to your relationships.
RELATED IDEAS
Office workers, working in real offices or doing Work From Home, face requests from fellow workers all the time which can range from unnecessary to downright avoidable. In our quest to appease others, we are struggling to reach our fullest potential.
Time, as many of us have now realized, is the most valuable and prized asset we have, and saying no to certain activities at work can enable us to do something worthy.
Most of us are quite addicted to a degree of certainty of all kinds, as this is what makes us feel safe. And now we all know nothing compares to feelings such as safety and control.
When faced with uncertainty, on the other hand, we tend to make irrational decisions, due to sheer fear.
- Passive-aggression is an indirect way to go on the offensive. An example is when someone tries to "get you back" by resisting cooperation and giving you the "silent treatment."
- Covert-aggression is calculated and underhanded to get what they want while keeping their aggressive intentions hidden. Covert aggressive people want to do bad while looking perfectly good.