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How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty: 6 Secrets From Experts

Saying NO without guilt

  • Notice how often people around you say no to each other every day. Also watch how others handle these situations.
  • When you feel pressured for a yes, ask for time. It will allow you to calm down and evaluate whether you really want to do it ( "I need to check my calendar; I'll get back to you"/ "I've got to think about that; I'll let you know.")
  • Saying no comfortably requires you to think what your values are. When you live by clear principles, it's easier to make decisions. People are more likely to respect your responses.
  • Keep telling them that you can't help them. Then stay on repeat, even if they bring new angles of reasoning.
  • When you want to help but can't commit to the specifics, make a counteroffer. You can offer someone a different resource or the name of someone else who might help.

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How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty: 6 Secrets From Experts

How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty: 6 Secrets From Experts

https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2017/05/how-to-say-no/

bakadesuyo.com

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Key Ideas

Being “too nice” can cause you problems

You're asked to do something, and you feel you should say no. However, if you say no, you'll be resented, so you are tempted to say yes. If you say yes, you're going to be frustrated with yourself and angry with them.

Research shows this cycle of awful feelings does damage to your relationships.

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Recent research has shown that uncertainty scares people even more than knowing that things are going to actually end up badly.

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  • They pretend to be innocent, ignorant, or confused when they did something awful. This tactic is to make you question your judgment.
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  • Let go of the pretense that if you play nice, they will play nice.
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Know when you can safely say "no"
  • Over one week, observe how you spend your time and energy. Keep note of how many times you say yes, no, or maybe to a request. Notice and record how each request made you feel.
  • Identify the times you say no and everything still works out fine. This will help you to know how you can respond in the future.
  • The requests that caused you anxiety: Ask yourself what the baggage behind it is. Does it remind you of old hurts and loss? The habit can also be a survival tactic to repress who you are.

Once you know where you can safely say no, try cutting back on saying yes.

Understand your bandwidth

Try to document your energy level and your calendar. How much did you have to do? Did saying yes to too many things mean your days were too busy?

Next time someone makes a request, assess your time and energy before taking on more tasks.

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