Never Split the Difference - Deepstash

Explore the World's Best Ideas

Join today and uncover 100+ curated journeys from 50+ topics. Unlock access to our mobile app with extensive features.

CHRIS VOSS

No deal is better than a bad deal

CHRIS VOSS

202

2.66K reads

Beware "yes", master "no"

Beware "yes", master "no"

For good negotiators, "No" is pure gold.

Why?

That negative provides a great opportunity for you and the other party to clarify what you really want by eliminating what you don't want.

Remember:

"No" is a safe choice that maintains the status quo; it provides a temporary oasis of control.

213

2.36K reads

All starts with "No"

All starts with "No"

We've been conditioned to fear the word "No". But is a statement of perception far more often than of fact. 

"No" is often a decision, frequently temporary, to maintain the status quo.

Remember:

Change is scary, and "No" provides a little protection from that scariness.

186

1.93K reads

Let them say "No"

Let them say "No"

When you preserve a person's autonomy by clearly giving them permission to say "No" to your ideas, the emotions calm, the effectiveness of the decisions go up, and the other party can really look at your proposal.

Remember:

Great negotiators seek "No" because they know that's often when the real negotiation begins.

190

1.73K reads

Train yourself to hear "No"

Train yourself to hear "No"

When someone tells you "No", rethink the word in one of its alternative meanings:

  • I am not yet ready to agree
  • You are making me feel uncomfortable
  • I do not understand
  • I don't think I can afford that
  • I want something else
  • I need more information
  • I want to talk it over with someone else

Then, after pausing, ask solution-based questions or label their effect:

  • "What about this doesn't work for you?"

Remember:

People have a need to say "No." So don't just hope to hear it at some point; get them to say it early.

228

1.49K reads

3 types of "Yes"

3 types of "Yes"

  •  Counterfeit: When the counterpart wants to say "no" but feels that "yes" is an easier exit route or just wants you to keep talking to get information. 
  • Confirmation: It is usually innocent; sometimes it is used to set a trap but almost always it is a simple statement without promise. 
  • Commitment: It is the one that matters, it is the real agreement that leads to action. This is the one you should be looking for. 

Remember:

An early "Yes" is often just a cheap, counterfeit dodge.

201

1.4K reads

"No" is protection

"No" is protection

Saying "No" often spurs people to action because they feel they've protected themselves and now see an opportunity slipping away.

Remember:

"No" is not a failure. Used strategically it's an answer that opens the path forward.

184

1.35K reads

The skills of "No"

The skills of "No"

  • "No" allows real problems to come to light
  • "No" protects people from making bad decisions
  • "No" slows things down so people can think through their decisions
  • "No" helps people feel safe, secure, emotionally comfortable and in control of their decisions
  •  "No" boosts everyone's efforts

Remember:

As Dallas Mavericks said "Every 'No' gets me closer to a 'Yes'"

204

1.18K reads

Force the "No"

Force the "No"

If despite all your efforts, the other party won't say "No", you're dealing with people who are indecisive or confused or who have a hidden agenda. In cases like that you have to end the negotiation and walk away.

Think of it like this: No "No" means go

187

1.33K reads

IDEAS CURATED BY

horacioquintana

New articles every Thursday:) Check out my blog:

CURATOR'S NOTE

This changes the whole game

Curious about different takes? Check out our Never Split the Difference Summary book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash users.

Horacio Quintana's ideas are part of this journey:

Deep Dive Into The Fashion Industry

Learn more about books with this collection

The history of fashion

The impact of fashion on society

The future of the fashion industry

Related collections

Different Perspectives Curated by Others from Never Split the Difference

Curious about different takes? Check out our book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash curators:

Discover Key Ideas from Books on Similar Topics

Great Expectations

4 ideas

Great Expectations

Charles Dickens

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition

10 ideas

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition

Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Emily Gregory

Wisdom from Rich Dad, Poor Dad

1 idea

Read & Learn

20x Faster

without
deepstash

with
deepstash

with

deepstash

Personalized microlearning

100+ Learning Journeys

Access to 200,000+ ideas

Access to the mobile app

Unlimited idea saving

Unlimited history

Unlimited listening to ideas

Downloading & offline access

Supercharge your mind with one idea per day

Enter your email and spend 1 minute every day to learn something new.

Email

I agree to receive email updates