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For good negotiators, "No" is pure gold.
Why?
That negative provides a great opportunity for you and the other party to clarify what you really want by eliminating what you don't want.
Remember:
"No" is a safe choice that maintains the status quo; it provides a temporary oasis of control.
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We've been conditioned to fear the word "No". But is a statement of perception far more often than of fact.
"No" is often a decision, frequently temporary, to maintain the status quo.
Remember:
Change is scary, and "No" provides a little protection from that scariness.
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When you preserve a person's autonomy by clearly giving them permission to say "No" to your ideas, the emotions calm, the effectiveness of the decisions go up, and the other party can really look at your proposal.
Remember:
Great negotiators seek "No" because they know that's often when the real negotiation begins.
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When someone tells you "No", rethink the word in one of its alternative meanings:
Then, after pausing, ask solution-based questions or label their effect:
Remember:
People have a need to say "No." So don't just hope to hear it at some point; get them to say it early.
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Remember:
An early "Yes" is often just a cheap, counterfeit dodge.
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Saying "No" often spurs people to action because they feel they've protected themselves and now see an opportunity slipping away.
Remember:
"No" is not a failure. Used strategically it's an answer that opens the path forward.
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Remember:
As Dallas Mavericks said "Every 'No' gets me closer to a 'Yes'"
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If despite all your efforts, the other party won't say "No", you're dealing with people who are indecisive or confused or who have a hidden agenda. In cases like that you have to end the negotiation and walk away.
Think of it like this: No "No" means go
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CURATOR'S NOTE
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