Persistent practice is the way to build competence at something new. Yet, when it comes to building interpersonal skills, especially those that are challenging and risky, we act as if this isn’t true.

Exposure therapy, for instance, is a well-documented approach to overcoming fears, and building skills. Want to overcome your terror of public speaking and become a persuasive presenter? An exposure therapy routine could involve learning relaxation skills and communication techniques, and then starting very small—perhaps a short talk in a low-stakes setting with acquaintances or work colleagues.