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The Guide to Strong Boundaries
Sacrifice
Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the people you love.
The catch is that if you make a sacrifice for someone you care about, it needs to be because you want to, not because you feel obligated or because you fear the consequences of not doing it.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
Learning to set healthy personal boundaries is necessary for maintaining a positive self-concept, or self-image. It is our way of communicating to others that we have self-respect, self-worth, and will not allow others to define us. Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used, or violated by others.
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Key Idea
Learning to set healthy personal boundaries
- Know that you have a right to personal boundaries.
- Recognize that other people's needs and feelings are not more important than your own.
- Learn to say no.
- I...
Our personal boundaries aren't as obvious as a fence or a giant "no trespassing" sign, unfortunately. They're more like invisible bubbles. Even though personal boundaries can be challenging to navigate, setting and communicating them is essential for our health, well-being, and even our safety.
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Key Ideas
Defining Boundaries
The word “boundary” can leave the impression of separation.
But boundaries are actually connecting points since they provide healthy rules for navigating relationships, intimate or profess...
The benefits of boundaries
- Boundaries improve our relationships and self-esteem. They protect relationships from becoming unsafe.
- Boundaries can be flexible. It’s good to think about them occasionally and reassess them.
- Boundaries allow us to conserve our emotional energy. Without them, self-esteem and identity can be affected, and you can build resentment toward others.
- Boundaries give us space to grow and be vulnerable.
Determine your borders
Our boundaries are shaped by
- our heritage or culture
- the region we live in or come from
- whether we’re introverted, extroverted, or somewhere in between
- our life experiences
- our family dynamics
A healthy relationship requires the space to be yourself and to maintain your personal integrity. Most people will respect your boundaries when you explain what they are and will expect that you will do the same for them; it's a two-way street. Not so with people who don't understand where you end and they begin.
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Key Ideas
Verbal violations
- Not allowing you to speak or be heard.
- Yelling at you.
- Saying things that are derogatory about your integrity and character.
- Gossiping about you.
Psychological/emotional boundary violations
- Preying upon your sense of self and self-esteem
- Using what you’ve told them in confidence against you
- Lying to you
- Criticizing you
- Manipulating you
- Mocking you
- Making demands of your time
- Bullying you
- Lording a superior attitude over you
Physical violations
- Moving into your personal space
- Touching you without permission
- Being inappropriate or too familiar towards you
- Violating your privacy
- Damaging or destroying your personal property
- Threatening you with physical harm