The Guide to Strong Boundaries

People who blame others for their own emotions and actions do so because they believe that if they constantly paint themselves as a victim, eventually someone will come to save them.

People who take the blame for other people’s emotions and actions are always looking to save someone.

Predictably, these two types of people are drawn strongly to one another, yet completely fail to meet each other's true need to feel loved. The real solution would be for both to take responsibility for their own problems.

Victims and savers both get kind of an emotional high off one another.

• For the victim, the hardest thing to do in the world is to hold themselves accountable for their feelings and their life.
• For the saver, the hardest thing to do in the world is to stop fixing other people’s problems and trying to force them to be happy and satisfied.

Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the people you love.

The catch is that if you make a sacrifice for someone you care about, it needs to be because you want to, not because you feel obligated or because you fear the consequences of not doing it.