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Secrets of Happiness from the Oldest of the Old

Happiness is a choice

The quality of our lives isn't based on the events of our lives but on the reaction to the events in our lives. 

Make the choice to declare that you won’t be defined or determined by the circumstances of your life. This declaration is liberating.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Secrets of Happiness from the Oldest of the Old

Secrets of Happiness from the Oldest of the Old

https://www.kiplinger.com/article/retirement/T037-C000-S004-secrets-of-happiness-from-the-oldest-of-the-old.html

kiplinger.com

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Key Ideas

Thinking like an older person

Thinking like an older person is a conscious practice of gratitude. It means focusing on what is rather than what is not. It also means accepting your mortality and being motivated by it: if your days are finite, you might as well enjoy the ones you have left.

Happiness is a choice

The quality of our lives isn't based on the events of our lives but on the reaction to the events in our lives. 

Make the choice to declare that you won’t be defined or determined by the circumstances of your life. This declaration is liberating.

"Optimism doesn’t mean the future is going to necessarily be better. It means seeing that the present is better."

"Optimism doesn’t mean the future is going to necessarily be better. It means seeing that the present is better."

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Anxiety is rewarding

Each time we worry and nothing bad happens, our mind connects worry with preventing harm:

Worry → nothing bad happens.

And the takeaway is, "It's a good thing I worried."&nbs...

Beliefs about worry
  • If I worry, I'll never have a bad surprise.
  • It's safer if I worry. We believe that the act of worrying itself somehow lowers the likelihood of a dreaded outcome. 
  • I show I care by worrying. We need to distinguish between caring about a situation and worrying needlessly and fruitlessly about it. 
  • Worrying motivates me. We need to differentiate between unproductive worry and productive concern and problem solving.
  • Worrying helps me solve problems. Extreme worry is more likely to interfere with problem-solving. 
Tools to assist us with worry
  • Calm the nervous system with guided muscle relaxation, meditation, and exercise. 
  • Notice when you're worrying and any beliefs that reinforce worry.  Awareness of the process gives us more choice in how we respond.
  • Embrace uncertainty. Most of the things we care about in life involve uncertainty. It takes considerable practice to begin to embrace it.
  • Live in the present. Practice focusing your attention on the present in everyday activities like taking a shower, walking, or talking with a friend, as well as in more formal practices like meditation or yoga.
  • When we face our fears head-on, they tend to diminish. Deliberately accept what you're afraid of: "It's possible I'll miss my flight." 
A public health problem

Most people consider loneliness a personal problem to be figured out by individuals. 

However, a paper published in the American Journal of Public Health identi...

Don’t blame social media

Among the theories on why there is more loneliness today is more time online and less time in front of people. 

However, levels of in-person interactions, physical and mental wellness and life balance are more likely to predict loneliness than social media usage.

Young and lonely

Generation Z (ages 18-22) had the highest loneliness scores, followed by the millennials (ages 23-37). The Greatest Generation (adults ages 72 and older) were the least lonely. 

Lonely people are less able to pick up on positive social stimuli, like others’ attention and commitment signals, so they withdraw prematurely – in many cases before they’re actually socially isolated.

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Vulnerable Time for Kids

A child's pre-teen and teen years are a high-emotion transitory period. This is due to shifting classmates, social pressure, multiple classrooms and a period of many 'firsts'.

Deep Friendships

A study on sixth-graders revealed that friendship is crucial and real for kids, and can be as deep as a parental relationship.

Most parents and teachers do not understand the importance of deep bonding among friends at school and tend to regard friendships as a distraction or a nuisance.

Social Isolation and Bullying

Social isolation is the dark side of the school, in which many kids with no friends are at risk of anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. There is a perceived sense of threat with being friendless, and the young, immature mind can deeply internalize the resulting difficulties, leading to depression.

Bullying at this age is also a major problem, with those who are socially isolated becoming the most vulnerable to being bullied.

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