"Optimism doesn’t mean the future is going to... - Deepstash

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Secrets of Happiness from the Oldest of the Old

"Optimism doesn’t mean the future is going to necessarily be better. It means seeing that the present is better."

John Leland

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Anxiety is rewarding

Each time we worry and nothing bad happens, our mind connects worry with preventing harm:

Worry → nothing bad happens.

And the takeaway is, "It's a good thing I worried."&nbs...

Beliefs about worry
  • If I worry, I'll never have a bad surprise.
  • It's safer if I worry. We believe that the act of worrying itself somehow lowers the likelihood of a dreaded outcome. 
  • I show I care by worrying. We need to distinguish between caring about a situation and worrying needlessly and fruitlessly about it. 
  • Worrying motivates me. We need to differentiate between unproductive worry and productive concern and problem solving.
  • Worrying helps me solve problems. Extreme worry is more likely to interfere with problem-solving. 
Tools to assist us with worry
  • Calm the nervous system with guided muscle relaxation, meditation, and exercise. 
  • Notice when you're worrying and any beliefs that reinforce worry.  Awareness of the process gives us more choice in how we respond.
  • Embrace uncertainty. Most of the things we care about in life involve uncertainty. It takes considerable practice to begin to embrace it.
  • Live in the present. Practice focusing your attention on the present in everyday activities like taking a shower, walking, or talking with a friend, as well as in more formal practices like meditation or yoga.
  • When we face our fears head-on, they tend to diminish. Deliberately accept what you're afraid of: "It's possible I'll miss my flight." 
The next Oprah

While everyone would want to be the next Oprah, the place is already taken.

The right approach is being yourself, or a better, refined version of yourself, to the 'smallest viable audience', ...

Outliers

Outliers are extreme examples of people who are on the outer edge of success or have a radically different life, glorified by the media.

Following Outliers leads normal people to make decisions based on false hope and highly unlikely possibilities.



Unique Circumstances

We need safe, nurturing environments to be our best, to blossom into what we truly are destined for, no matter how big or small, in our unique way.

We are provided with unnecessary pain and suffering by the constant comparison with people who are born radically different from us and are having different circumstances. 

The Bees and the symphony of life
The Bees and the symphony of life

Against every choice of destruction, there is always the choice of creation.

This is the message of Poet Audre Lorde, as she draws on bees to describe the alternative to destruction. He...

“Construction and destruction alike satisfy the will to power, but construction is more difficult as a rule, and therefore gives more satisfaction to the person who can achieve it."

“Construction and destruction alike satisfy the will to power, but construction is more difficult as a rule, and therefore gives more satisfaction to the person who can achieve it."