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The Limitations of Positive Thinking
Positivity Could be Good for Us
Negative thinking can narrow our thinking and prevent us from moving forward. Positive encouragement can open our minds to alternatives. It fosters creative thinking and opens us up to take on risks.
However, pursuing happiness for the sake of happiness has been shown to make us more unhappy. The more we try and force positive emotions, the less happy we become.
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Forcing positive thinking
Forcing positive thinking puts us under pressure and in an always-on-the-alert mode. We can never relax because a negative thought might pop into our heads when we least expect it.
It can make us feel more negative emotions and we may blame ourselves for not being happy enough.
We need some negative emotions
Emotions like fear and anxiety can help us to act in certain situations, for instance, alerting us to danger. Anxiety should not be avoided. It can point to an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.
Thinking negatively can also help us prepare for worst-case scenarios in advance. However, too much negative thinking is not good for us either.
Avoid positive affirmations
Positive affirmations can actually be detrimental.
If you have low self-esteem, repeating feel-good phrases can make you feel worse. And for those with high self-esteem, although positive affirmations tend to improve your mood only slightly, there's no lasting effect.
Finding Balance
Both positivity and negativity have a place. We should learn to find a balance between the two.
Instead of focussing on positive thinking, we should hope for the best, but plan for the worst.
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Happy people are generous
- They give freely.
- They spend money on experiences.
- They spend money to benefit others.
- They forgive (themselves and others).
The conscious attitude of happy people
- They don’t compare themselves to others.
- They practice gratitude.
- They are hopeful and optimistic.
- They practice mindfulness.
- They comfort themselves in hard times.
- They don’t overthink.
- They remember the positive.
- They try to be happy.
- They act happy.
Having Things to Look Forward To
Happy people tend to live active and somewhat busy lives. They meet up with friends after work, go on a hiking trip with the family on the weekend, and play tennis every Wednesday morning with a friend.
This busy lifestyle provides an unintended but powerful source of happiness: anticipation.
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We don't need positive thinking
Positive thinking tends to separate situations in terms of good and bad.
First, you think something is bad, then you have to actively think it is less bad, but you always know you are fool...
"Good" or "Bad"
We tend to view something as either good or bad. And most of us use the "bad" label more often than the "good" label.
But, not everything we label as bad, is bad. We can all recall instances of something we initially thought was a bad thing, only to realize later that it was a good thing.
Don't apply labels
When people are faced with extreme adversity, some persons positively flourish while others fall apart.
Those who rise successfully do not place a label on what they go through. They take every circumstance as a given. It is merely something they have to address.
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Think of Yourself Less
Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. - CS Lewis
Self-esteem that is bound to external success can lead to small spurts of happiness but is no...
Be Busy, but Not Rushed
Research shows that feeling “rushed” is a one-way street to stress and unhappiness. Too much boredom can be burdensome.
To find a balance, learn to say "no" to opportunities that do not excite you.
Be Proactive About Your Relationships
Do:
- Check-in regularly with good friends (around 2 weeks for very close friends).
- Celebrate the good things in their life; let them know through active and constructive listening.
- Studies show people love hearing themselves talk and talking about themselves, so let them.
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