Listening

• Evaluate: We judge what someone is saying and agree or disagree.
• Probe: We ask questions from our own frame of reference.
• Advise: We give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
• Interpret: We analyze others' motives and behaviors based on our own experiences.

When you start noticing yourself getting tense, try to focus on breathing (on feeling the air coming in and out of your lungs).

This will take your attention off the physical signs of panic and keep you centered.

Sitting still when you’re having a difficult conversation can make the emotions build up rather than dissipate. 

Standing up and walking around helps to activate the thinking part of your brain.

• While giving bad news to others, like giving feedback or firing someone, one can find it difficult to strike the right note.
• When a small sentence or even a word can be taken as a negative provocation and trigger an adverse reaction. Suddenly the conversation becomes intensely charged emotionally.
• A conversation where one resorts to profanity, manipulation, shouting to thwart the other person.

1. Be fully aware of one’s own vulnerabilities and shortcomings.
2. Anticipate any specific problem that may occur, and try to rehearse it if possible.
3. Understand that words are key that can make or break your conversation, and try to fine-tune and neutralize your phrasing.

A key part of being a good listener is showing the speaker that he or she has your undivided attention. Close your laptop and put away your phone.

This gives those speakers the confidence to express themselves fully without feeling that they’re imposing on your time.

7 percent of a message is conveyed through words. Body language plays a major role in how we communicate and how we listen.

When you’re listening, then, be aware of what your body language is saying to the speaker. Unfold your arms and be open to what this person has to say.

Unoriginal expressions used so frequently that they've actually lost meaning like  "out-of-the-box thinking" could reveal a lack of respect for the listener.

Avoid metaphors completely or use original ones. If that's too hard, tweak the wording of clichés to make them less cliché-ish.

Using big, impressive sounding words rather than smaller, common ones can leave listeners with the impression that you're pompous and pretentious.

The fix, in this case, is a big dose of humility. 

Really listen to what someone else is trying to say.

We need information that is disconfirming, not confirming.

Ask more questions than you give answers.

When you ask questions, you create a safe space for other people to give you an unvarnished truth.

It is difficult to discuss some sensitive subjects, and we are tempted to avoid them. Other times we simply expect our partners to know what we are doing, thinking or what we want.

It is much better to get things out in the open regularly rather than waiting to have big rows that might damage your relationship.

Be curious about your partner’s point of view rather than trying to anticipate every situation. Active listening involves:

• Paying attention to your partner.
• Tolerating your silence.
• Paying attention to your partner’s nonverbal communication.
• Reflecting and paraphrasing what your partner is saying: I hear you say you feel angry when I ….. Is that what you are saying?

• It helps to create effective brand messaging.  It determines how your brand is perceived and also builds trust with customers.
• Customer service relies on good communication. "60% of consumers have stopped doing business with a brand due to a poor customer service experience."  Microsoft’s 2016 Global State of Customer Service Report.
• It enables positive team relationships.  Effective communication helps to unite teams and create a safe environment to express themselves.

• It helps to prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. It can help to defuse a potentially explosive dispute while bad communication can set it off.

1. Using a One-Size-Fits-All Communication Approach. Tailor the communication style to the intended audience.
2. Speaking More and Listening Less. Listen to what is said, how it is said, and to what is not said.
3. Assuming Instead of Asking More Questions.
4. Using Negative Tone. Choose words carefully to eliminate negative reactions.

5. Avoiding Difficult Conversations.

6. Reacting, Not Responding.

7. Not Keeping an Open Mind. Accept and respect differences, listen without judgment and consider all sides of an issue.

• Have a genuine interest in getting to know a person you’re talking to and learn from them.
• Ask open-ended questions. It encourages the other person you're speaking with to open up.“What do you do?” followed by “Why did you choose that type of work? How did you enter that profession?”
• Never talk about something too personal.
• Practice active listening. By paying attention to the speaker’s words, you’ll create much stronger connections.