Why do we self-sabotage? - Deepstash

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Why do we self-sabotage?

Why do we self-sabotage?

According to Rochelle Knowles, founder of Mindful Eyes coaching, it all boils down to fear.

“There is a part of our brain, the ‘critter brain’, also known as the brain stem, which doesn’t like change, which prompts our compulsion to slip into destructive patterns and essentially self-sabotage,” she tells Stylist.

“When it senses change, the critter brain has the limbic system load up feelings of fear and worry, so the cortex (or ‘human brain’) has to come up with a logical reason to justify those emotions.”

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We’re all guilty of putting off important tasks from time to time, but procrastination can also be a way of not taking responsibility for your actions and avoiding rejection. 

Whether it’s constantly staying late to please your manager or always letting yourself be trauma-dumped on, these may seem like positive actions that prove your value as a colleague or friend but people-pleasing behaviour can actually end up contributing to self-sabotage.

When an individual is self-sabotaging, their internal narrative is overwhelmingly one of “I can’t do this,” or “I don’t deserve that.” Believing you’re not good enough – for your partner, in your job or any other realm of your life – reinforces the feelings of worthlessness or incompetence that c...

Knowles believes that every self-sabotaging behaviour has a positive intention. “But it’s about taking a moment to think: ‘Is this the right action for me?’ ‘Is what I’m doing self-supporting?’” she explains.

There’s a big difference between being realistic about your chances of something happening and constantly catastrophising that nothing is going to go your way.

Those who are in the throes of self-sabotage are often actively looking for and picking out not just their own faults, but the faults of others.

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