๐Ÿ ๐•ค๐•š๐•˜๐•Ÿ๐•ค ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆโ€™๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•ค๐•–๐•๐•—-๐•ค๐•’๐•“๐• ๐•ฅ๐•’๐•˜๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•จ๐•š๐•ฅ๐•™๐• ๐•ฆ๐•ฅ ๐•–๐•ง๐•–๐•Ÿ ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•๐•š๐•ค๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•š๐•ฅ - Deepstash

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๐Ÿ ๐•ค๐•š๐•˜๐•Ÿ๐•ค ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆโ€™๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•ค๐•–๐•๐•—-๐•ค๐•’๐•“๐• ๐•ฅ๐•’๐•˜๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•จ๐•š๐•ฅ๐•™๐• ๐•ฆ๐•ฅ ๐•–๐•ง๐•–๐•Ÿ ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•๐•š๐•ค๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•š๐•ฅ

๐Ÿ ๐•ค๐•š๐•˜๐•Ÿ๐•ค ๐•ช๐• ๐•ฆโ€™๐•ฃ๐•– ๐•ค๐•–๐•๐•—-๐•ค๐•’๐•“๐• ๐•ฅ๐•’๐•˜๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•จ๐•š๐•ฅ๐•™๐• ๐•ฆ๐•ฅ ๐•–๐•ง๐•–๐•Ÿ ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•๐•š๐•ค๐•š๐•Ÿ๐•˜ ๐•š๐•ฅ

stylist.co.uk

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Why do we self-sabotage?

According to Rochelle Knowles, founder ofย Mindful Eyes coaching, it all boils down to fear.

โ€œThere is a part of our brain, the โ€˜critter brainโ€™, also known as the brain stem, which doesnโ€™t like change, which prompts our compulsion to slip into destructive patterns and essentially self-sabota...

You fail to set boundaries

Whether itโ€™s constantly staying late to please your manager or always letting yourself beย trauma-dumped on, these may seem like positive actions that prove your value as a colleague or friend but people-pleasing behaviour can actually end up contributing to self-sabotage.

โ€œAs humans, we wan...

You procrastinate extensively

Weโ€™re all guilty of putting off important tasks from time to time, butย procrastinationย can also be a way of not taking responsibility for your actions and avoiding rejection.ย 

You regularly experience imposter syndrome

When an individual is self-sabotaging, their internal narrative is overwhelmingly one of โ€œI canโ€™t do this,โ€ or โ€œI donโ€™t deserve that.โ€ Believing youโ€™re not good enough โ€“ for your partner, in your job or any other realm of your life โ€“ reinforces the feelings of worthlessness or incompetence that c...

Youโ€™re always expecting the worst

Thereโ€™s a big difference between being realistic about your chances of something happening and constantly catastrophising that nothing is going to go your way.

Not only does it reinforce negative behaviours that eat away at your potential for success, feeling like a โ€œfailureโ€ or โ€œdisappoint...

Youโ€™re overly critical of yourself and your work

Those who are in the throes of self-sabotage are often actively looking for and picking out not just their own faults, but the faults of others.

Whether itโ€™s gnawing self-doubt or a praise complex linked to your childhood conditioning, the idea of putting yourself down before someone else i...

How to overcome self-sabotage

Knowles believes that every self-sabotaging behaviour has a positive intention. โ€œBut itโ€™s about taking a moment to think: โ€˜Is this the right action for me?โ€™ โ€˜Is what Iโ€™m doing self-supporting?โ€™โ€ she explains.

She suggests using prompts such as โ€œWhat do I really want for myself?โ€ and โ€œWhat d...

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