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How to overcome self-sabotage

How to overcome self-sabotage

Knowles believes that every self-sabotaging behaviour has a positive intention. “But it’s about taking a moment to think: ‘Is this the right action for me?’ ‘Is what I’m doing self-supporting?’” she explains.

She suggests using prompts such as “What do I really want for myself?” and “What did I do that I didn’t actually want to do?” to help begin to unpick the coping mechanisms we’ve learned but are perhaps no longer serving us.


171 reads


<p>Self-sabotage, as it’s ofte...

Self-sabotage, as it’s often termed, isn’t always obvious. It manifests in covert and unconscious ways that deliberately hinder our own success and wellbeing by undermining our personal goals and values.

It’s the idea that we say yes even when we want to say no and feel the need to agree wi...


328 reads

You’re overly critical of yourself and your work

You’re overly critical of yourself and your work

Those who are in the throes of self-sabotage are often actively looking for and picking out not just their own faults, but the faults of others.

Whether it’s gnawing self-doubt or a praise complex linked to your childhood conditioning, the idea of putting yourself down before someone else i...


143 reads

You regularly experience imposter syndrome

You regularly experience imposter syndrome

When an individual is self-sabotaging, their internal narrative is overwhelmingly one of “I can’t do this,” or “I don’t deserve that.” Believing you’re not good enough – for your partner, in your job or any other realm of your life – reinforces the feelings of worthlessness or incompetence that c...


190 reads

You fail to set boundaries

You fail to set boundaries

Whether it’s constantly staying late to please your manager or always letting yourself be trauma-dumped on, these may seem like positive actions that prove your value as a colleague or friend but people-pleasing behaviour can actually end up contributing to self-sabotage.

“As humans, we wan...


169 reads

<p>In many instances, we self-...

In many instances, we self-sabotage because we desire acceptance. We don’t actually want to go out, but we do because our friend needs a wing-woman and she doesn’t want to go alone. We put ourselves forward for extra responsibilities at work because we know that our boss wants us to.

“Our c...


212 reads

Why do we self-sabotage?

Why do we self-sabotage?

According to Rochelle Knowles, founder of Mindful Eyes coaching, it all boils down to fear.

“There is a part of our brain, the ‘critter brain’, also known as the brain stem, which doesn’t like change, which prompts our compulsion to slip into destructive patterns and essentially self-sabota...


230 reads

You’re always expecting the worst

You’re always expecting the worst

There’s a big difference between being realistic about your chances of something happening and constantly catastrophising that nothing is going to go your way.

Not only does it reinforce negative behaviours that eat away at your potential for success, feeling like a “failure” or “disappoint...


142 reads

You procrastinate extensively

You procrastinate extensively

We’re all guilty of putting off important tasks from time to time, but procrastination can also be a way of not taking responsibility for your actions and avoiding rejection. 


225 reads

Once you have a better understanding of what patterns of thinking cause those emotions, you can begin to challenge them with positive self-talk, affirmations and self-supporting behaviours.

“Remember that you’re the one in control, and you’re the one that’s got to be ultimately accountable,...


195 reads




“𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏.” 𝑸𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒏 3:185

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