Irrelevant criteria
We know what will make us happy, but we don't know how to measure it. We measure our success by using social comparisons, like a salary, or with awards.
Because people tend to use vague criteria, they are never satisfied when they reach it and always want more. This leads to an unsustainable source of happiness.
MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE
- Having meaningful social relationships
- Being very good at something you do
- Having the freedom to make life decisions independently.
Three things that don't necessarily contribute to your happiness:
- Being better educated
- Being richer
- Being more accomplished
If you do what you enjoy and are naturally good at, and if you focus on it long enough, you will probably advance toward mastery anyway, and fame and money will be a byproduct.
We view the world in one of two ways:
- Scarcity-minded approach: My win will make someone else lose. The scarcity mindset plays an important role when we have to fight for our survival.
- Abundance-oriented approach: There is room for everybody to grow. Doing something meaningful, instead of focussing on a goal, contributes to a happier life overall.
It is not good to tie your happiness to outcomes since that can affect your happiness.
Overcoming some obstacles might pose more obstacles, while other events that we thought would be bad for us might make us grow and learn.
RELATED IDEAS
Self-made millionaires create a personal vision, set goals and actively pursue those goals. They allocate their time, energy and resources effectively.
Even if they hire an outside financial adviser, they still monitor the budget to ensure the investment portfolio matches the level of risk taken.
Impostor syndrome is very real. It comes form the belief that we are going to be ‘found out’.
The truth of course is that it’s likely that you are the only one that thinks that.
Maybe you are the only one that is not seeing the value that you bring.
- If we focus on contribution then we give the self talk a new narrative, a far more positive narrative.
- It changes because contribution is very easy to see and you can easily see the feedback loops yourself.
These new feedback loops are positive and healthy, impostor syndrome often isn’t.
- Let go of the need for specific outcomes
- Define your own success and happiness
- Fully commit to the things that make you happy
- Be grateful for what you already have
- Say “I love you” more
- Have hobbies directed toward your dreams
- Don’t postpone what you can do now
- Do something every day that terrifies you
- Put “the Important” before “the Urgent”
- Forgo the good to pursue the best.