Bullying Is About More Than Just Two People - Deepstash
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Bullying Is About More Than Just Two People

Bullying Is About More Than Just Two People

Bullying is always about more than what’s going on with two people: the bully and the target. What about the  “wingmen”, the bully’s supporters, the kids who think the bully is the bee’s knees and want to stay in their favour? What’s happening with the kids watching silently – the bystanders? Who is seeing what’s happening, when it all starts to kick off, and getting out fast? Who’s calling out the injustice?

To understand bullying, you have to see the whole picture.

Bullying is about absolutely everyone; even the bystanders – those who do or say nothing when bullying is taking place.


53 reads


The Upstanders

The Upstanders

The upstanders are the ones that weigh in. They’re wired to weigh in – even when it’s nothing to do with them. To some, they can be really annoying people, actually.

But upstanders deflate the bully or bullies and the important thing to realise, and to make sure your child realises, is that...


27 reads

The Bottom Line

 Bullying is unpleasant, but it happens; and working out what’s going on, and going deeper into our own roles and our children’s roles, is a character-enhancing exercise.

Whether your child is the bully or the target, the bystander or the wingman, they can learn from it, and they can come ...


33 reads

What Your Kid Needs

What Your Kid Needs

If your child needs power and recognition – and that’s a great cocktail for success in many sectors – it can easily trigger bullying behaviour, and as a parent, you need to be aware of that, and active in how you manage it.

If you can nurture a sense of kindness in that child, help them und...


31 reads

A Bully Family

Sometimes you come across a family where everyone is a bully: the parents, the older siblings, who bully the younger kids, and the younger kids, who bully others at school. These families are very difficult to help, but they’re also quite rare. What’s much more common is individualistic behaviour...


34 reads

What Parents Can Do

What Parents Can Do

Pay attention to your child, so you can work out what their vulnerabilities are. You know your child better than anyone: what are their emotional needs? Do they need love and belonging, or crave power, status and recognition from others?

The first of these could be a passive, gentle child ...


53 reads

The Digital Age And Bullying

The Digital Age And Bullying

Bullying in the digital age is the same as the old but there are important differences. First, the digital world has created a much quicker path to the dehumanisation of the target – and dehumanisation is the horror we are trying to avoid.

It’s very hard to bring a child back from being deh...


16 reads


Not to speak is to speak; not to act is to act.



56 reads

Bullying In Youngsters

Bullying In Youngsters

Bullying is a sustained pattern of aggression by a person with more power, targeting someone with less power. The key  is that it’s repeated behaviour. But beneath this simple definition lies a complex, multilayered situation that can be exceptionally tricky to unpack. What is the power, and wher...


68 reads

The Kind Of Kids That May Become Bullies

The Kind Of Kids That May Become Bullies

Kids with a supercilious presumption that they’re better than others can get into the bullying mindset.

Make sure your child isn’t that child: the idea that your offspring is inherently smarter, better looking and more skilled across the board, is, in fact, a facet of your own dark side – a...


31 reads

Tricky People

Tricky People

The truth about tricky people is this: they’re all around, and they’ll continue to be all around, right through your life. One of the biggest gifts a parent can give their child,  is the skills to handle tricky people.

It’s not about being big; it’s about being clever.

It’s about you...


24 reads





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