Related to this is our desire to be easy going or low maintenance. Again, we dont want to be difficult (that might lead to a conflict) and we dont want to be a burden or need anything because that might drive people away. A history of dysfunctional relationships and fragile self-esteem has led us to believe that people wont like us (and perhaps theyll abandon or reject us) if we ask for too much or have complicated feelings. It feels safer to pretend were fine and be a dependable, cheerful friend or an easy-going daughter-in-law who never complains.
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Why We Say, “I’m fine” When We Aren’t: Codependency, Denial, and Avoidance
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