“Words that work, whether fiction or reality, not only explain but also motivate. They cause you to think as well as act. They trigger emotion as well as understanding.”

You can have the best message in the world, but the person on the receiving end will always understand it through the filter of their own emotions, preconceptions, prejudices, and preexisting beliefs.

It’s not what you say, it’s what people hear

“Remember, everything you need to say should be up front. All that you want to say can come later.”

Effective communication isn’t about the objective meaning of your words, but rather how people understand them. It’s essential to consider their preconceptions, especially their beliefs and fears. One example is George Orwell who knew this well and used it in his book 1984. He wrote a passage that described Room 101 as a place where one confronts her greatest fears. Since everyone has different personal nightmares, Room 101 became associated with each reader’s individual nightmare.

Effective communication is about considering your audience

“These, then, are the ten rules of effective communication, all summarized in single words: simplicity, brevity, credibility, consistency, novelty, sound, aspiration, visualization, questing, and context.”

The single most-read portion after the opening paragraph is the postscript. The reason is easy to understand: <ul><li>The average reader looks to the P.S. to determine whether or not it is in fact a personal letter, and whether that letter has any relevance to his or her life. </li><li>If it isn’t, and if it doesn’t, the average person won’t read anything else. </li></ul>Make the postscript as human and emotional as possible.

The effectiveness of the postscript

<ul><li>Never use a metaphor, simile, or another figure of speech that you are used to seeing in print.</li><li>Never use a long word where a short one will do.</li><li>If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.</li><li>Never use the passive where you can use the active.</li><li>Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.</li><li>Don’t assume that people know what you do, or are even aware of you.</li></ul>

Some “Don’ts” in communication

Words have different meanings to different people. For example, “welfare” and “assistance to the poor” essentially mean the same thing. However, if you ask the citizens whether or not we are spending too much on welfare (23%) or assistance for the poor (68%), it’s clear that these two terms hold differing connotations. So while “welfare” brings up images of “welfare queens” and wasteful government spending, “assistance to the poor” reminds people of charity and Christian compassion.

Similar words can prompt different reactions among different people 

<ul><li>Consequences: What will personalize, and what will dramatize the result of your actions?</li><li>Impact: How can you utilize this word to make your listeners feel as if there will be a measurable difference?</li><li>Diplomacy and Dialogue: Use them to ease tension, to establish a sense of normalcy or goodwill.</li><li>Reliability: There are many people who believe that the reliability of something is more important than any other factor.</li><li>Mission: Your listener wants to know the how, what and why. </li><li>Commitment: What kind of personal mission are you going to undertake? Use commitment in the terms of personal commitment.</li></ul>

Important words

<ul><li>Simplicity: Use small words</li><li>Brevity: Use short sentences</li><li>Credibility: Be credible in every word or statement you make</li><li>Consistency:  Iterate the same message, over and over</li><li>Novelty: breed excitement</li><li>Sound: the texture of your words matters</li><li>Aspirational: people forget what you say but not how you made them feel</li><li>Imagery: Visualize, the word “imagine” is an incredibly powerful tool</li><li>Question: Question everything, ask questions and provide the solution</li><li>Context:give background to why you’re here and why people should bother to listen to you – give relevance to the situation.</li></ul>

10 rules for successful communication

The nation's premier communications expert shares his wisdom on how the words we choose can change the course of business, of politics, and of life in this country In Words That Work, Luntz offers a behind-the-scenes look at how the tactical use of words and phrases affects what we buy, who we vote for, and even what we believe in. With chapters like "The Ten Rules of Successful Communication" and "The 21 Words and Phrases for the 21st Century," he examines how choosing the right words is essential. Nobody is in a better position to explain than Frank Luntz: He has used his knowledge of words to help more than two dozen Fortune 500 companies grow. Hell tell us why Rupert Murdoch's six-billion-dollar decision to buy DirectTV was smart because satellite was more cutting edge than "digital cable," and why pharmaceutical companies transitioned their message from "treatment" to "prevention" and "wellness." If you ever wanted to learn how to talk your way out of a traffic ticket or talk your way into a raise, this book's for you.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Communication

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The nation's premier communications expert shares his wisdom on how the words we choose can change the course of business, of politics, and of life in this country In Words That Work, Luntz offers a behind-the-scenes look at how the tactical use of words and phrases affects what we buy, who we vote for, and even what we believe in. With chapters like "The Ten Rules of Successful Communication" and "The 21 Words and Phrases for the 21st Century," he examines how choosing the right words is essential. Nobody is in a better position to explain than Frank Luntz: He has used his knowledge of words to help more than two dozen Fortune 500 companies grow. Hell tell us why Rupert Murdoch's six-billion-dollar decision to buy DirectTV was smart because satellite was more cutting edge than "digital cable," and why pharmaceutical companies transitioned their message from "treatment" to "prevention" and "wellness." If you ever wanted to learn how to talk your way out of a traffic ticket or talk your way into a raise, this book's for you.

It’s not what you say, it’s what people hear

Similar ideas to It’s not what you say, it’s what people hear

Say Thank You Not Sorry

Reminder: People don’t really care that much about what you say or do.

5. Teach What You Learn