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Yes, It's O.K. to Be Sad During the Holidays

FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

Our cause of sadness is often related to the fact that we compare our lives with the lives o the people we follow and that seem to be having loads of fun on social media

Try to avoid social media during holidays and during mandatory social gatherings. Also, avoid gatherings that drain your energy.

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Yes, It's O.K. to Be Sad During the Holidays

Yes, It's O.K. to Be Sad During the Holidays

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/21/smarter-living/yes-its-ok-to-be-sad-during-the-holidays.html

nytimes.com

5

Key Ideas

Depression During Holidays

Holidays are supposed to be a happy time, but many people feel sadness due to heightened expectations, family rifts and comparison with others.

FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

Our cause of sadness is often related to the fact that we compare our lives with the lives o the people we follow and that seem to be having loads of fun on social media

Try to avoid social media during holidays and during mandatory social gatherings. Also, avoid gatherings that drain your energy.

Creating Your Happiness

Negative emotions can sap us from the inside. Create your happiness by observing and learning from your negativity by using self-awareness

Brighten your day by being generous, providing funds to the needy, holiday gifting to the poor, or doing some volunteer work.

Seeking Company

Find someone you can talk to in your neighborhood, society or even social media if you are home alone.
You can even connect with other people who are alone and form a virtual club.

Holiday Blues

The feelings of sorrow, alienation, and loneliness can be related to holiday blues, or to something chronic if they continue even after the holidays are over.
If there is a behavioral change or increased substance abuse, it may be something more than holiday blues.

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Unhappy Holidays

While holidays are supposed to be the happiest time of the year, many people experience deep sadness, anxiety, and stress during this time.

The added pressure of financial obligations an...

Be Social

Staying in isolation and hibernating at home can make you sad.

Try to get out and meet people, as socializing can be a remedy to sadness.

Just Go Exercise

While your mind may cook up excuses, it is a fact that any kind of exercise, even walking for a short while will make you feel better, and will increase your heart rate. It is even better with friends, at the gym, with music on.

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Why Monday looms so large

Hating Monday is practically an international pastime. There’s a bit of a collective conscience that Mondays suck.

Social media the idea that Mondays...

Anticipatory anxiety

The Sunday are a form of “anticipatory anxiety,” that's why concerns might creep in as you consider the upcoming week.

Worrying about future events is human nature. But prolonged anxiety can lead to chronic stress, which increases your risk of health problems, including depression, heart disease, digestive problems, sleep issues, and more.

Plan some Sunday self-care

Treating yourself well on Sunday can help you feel better about Monday. You can try:

  • Serenity—a form of relaxation, like meditation or deep breathing
  • Exercise—anything from yoga to running
  • Love—expressing gratitude
  • Food—eating nutrient-rich foods high in vitamin B6 and avoiding caffeine and alcohol.

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Happiness can’t be a goal in itself. Therefore, it’s not something that’s achievable.

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” - Ralph Waldo Emerso...

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happiness is merely a byproduct of usefulness. You don’t have to change the world or anything. Just make it a little bit better than you were born. When you do little useful things every day, it adds ...

Happiness is merely a byproduct of usefulness. You don’t have to change the world or anything. Just make it a little bit better than you were born. When you do little useful things every day, it adds up to a life that is well lived. A life that mattered.

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Lack Of Self-Confidence

... is associated with:

  • Depression
  • loneliness and feeling left out
  • Lower academic achievement
  • Lower life satisfaction

Self-confidence without competence is of as little use as is competence without self-confidence.

Self-confidence without competence is of as little use as is competence without self-confidence.
Building Your Self-Confidence

You become more self-confident if you become better at what you do. 

The process goes like this:

  1. Improve your competencies
  2. Put them into practice
  3. See results
  4. Grow more confident
  5. Repeat

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Accepting sadness
Accepting sadness

As we associate sadness with a negative feeling, we tend to try to run away from it.

However, one way to get rid of such fears like being sad is by actually embracing our negative emot...

Embrace your sadness

You might feel sadness from time to time, which actually makes you want to run away from this mood and focus on something happier.

Nevertheless, running has never been a solution and it will certainly not start being one in this specific case, as embracing your sadness is a surer way to control and get rid of it on a long term.

Scheduled sadness

In order to better understand and control your sadness, check out the below steps that lead to a so-called 'scheduled sadness' that will eventually help you reach your goal:

  • schedule a consistent time to focus only on your sadness
  • start by spending ten minutes on the task
  • express clearly the things that have made you feel this way
  • make sure you do not overthink it.
Spend time with furry friends

Play fetch with Fido or sneak in a few cuddles with your kitten. 

Interacting with your pets can release oxytocin in the brain ― you know, the “warm and fuzzy” hormone ― resulting...

Count your blessings

There’s nothing like a little thankfulness to boost your mood. Research shows expressing gratitude can make you happier

Try writing down three things you’re thankful for at the end of each night.

Remind yourself how great you are

 Studies show self-acceptance is crucial to a happier life, but it’s a habit we barely practice.

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FOMO Comes From Unhappiness

You’re not feeling so great — whether you realize it or not — and you turn to social media to make you feel better. Only one problem there: it actually makes you feel worse…

The Facebook Illusion

We all know that Facebook doesn’t provide a very well-rounded picture of people’s lives. It’s more like the cherry-picked perfection version.

People with FOMO have ambivalent feelings toward Facebook. It brings them up when they post about their own carefully edited version of life awesomeness, and slams them back down when they feel they have to compete with other people's lifestyle awesomeness - especially when they're feeling a little down or anxious themselves.

The Problem Is Attention

Looking at social media for happiness is a bad idea. You won’t find it out there. Your happiness is determined by how you allocate your attention. What you attend to drives your behavior and it determines your happiness. 

Changing behavior and enhancing happiness is as much about withdrawing attention from the negative as it is about attending to the positive.

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Taking cues from you

When children witness a parent in a state of anxiety, they can become unsettled, because they take information about how to interpret situations from the parent.

If you notice your child sho...

Learn stress management techniques

A big part of treatment for children with anxiety is to teach parents stress tolerance.

A mental health professional can help you work through methods of stress management for your specific needs.

Model stress tolerance

You might learn strategies in therapy that you can impart to your child when she is feeling anxious.

Try to maintain a calm, neutral demeanor in front of your child, even if you are still trying to manage your anxiety. Children are quick to read facial expressions.

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Having 'everything'

We think once we have a fulfilling job, we'll be happy, or once we have a loving partner or children, we'll never feel dissatisfied again.

Yet, when we have all these things, we still feel ne...

Hiding from yourself

Pretending you’re normal and trying to fit in with the innocents in your midst keeps you sad and negative.

Don't stigmatize your dissatisfaction or restlessness. Don't scold yourself for your feelings, but make more space for them. These sensations will lead you down a new path toward joy.

Converse with your negative self

Try inviting your sad and negative self to find out why you feel this way. You won’t know what you truly want until you listen patiently to yourself. If you give it time, you'll find out what you really long for.

Sometimes, it is something about the way you've structured your days that doesn't honor the potential and countless possibilities that are stretched out before you. Or something about your anxiety has caused you to build things that restrict you. Your fears will keep you inside predictable shapes.

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Reframing Holidays For Workaholics
  • To deal with the lingering sense of guilt you feel when you’re not working, put a little bit of work in here and there, in return for the extended downtime.
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