The way we insert ourselves into the speaker’s narrative shifts the focus of conversational attention. We may assume that interjecting our personal stories is an empathic and relationship-building move, but we should steer the conversation back to the speaker.

Colleague A: “I really nee...

It may be hard to pinpoint the conversational goals if the speaker does not know what they are hoping to achieve. We should consider whether the conversation seems to be productive and what we may be missing.

Taking a moment before an auto reply may help to reveal a subtler, important oppor...

You may find it difficult to adjust from your default listening style. Staying focused on the speaker and the goals will help you adapt to the situation's needs.

Patient: "I'm scared about this procedure."

Clinician: "Even though the complication rate is very low it's nor...

Few people know how to listen well. Even techniques like "active listening" can be counterproductive. 

Well-intentioned responses may not meet the speakers' needs or address their concerns. For example, if a colleague says he needs a vacation and you respond with a place you recently visite...

• An analytical listener aims to analyze a problem from a neutral point.
• A relational listener aims to build a connection and understand the emotions underlying message.
• A critical listener aims to judge both the content of th...