Persistent, Patient Commitment

We’re usually pretty judgmental about our compulsive habits. It’s a part of ourselves that we hate or a confirmation that we’re somehow bad or inadequate.

This kind of harsh judgment is a defense mechanism meant to help us get better. Beating ourselves up only makes us crav...

We don’t do unhelpful things with the intent to harm ourselves, for the most part. We do them because the unhelpful habit is meeting some need.

• The need might be something like:
• I’m bored and want a dopamine hit
• I feel bad about myself and want to ...

Change your environment, so that you aren’t likely to do the old habit. Ask people who live and work with you to hold you accountable.

Making it hard to do the old compulsive habit is called “Creating a Moat.” Don’t let your future self, at a moment of weakness, have a...

When we seek to change a habit that we think is embarrassing, we usually try to do it in private, so no one can see our shame. This is a mistake.

Doing it alone is very, very hard, and it also reinforces the idea that we are doing something shameful, and that we should be doing this on our...