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Anger leads us to poor decisions, regrettable behavior, or hurt feelings. However, some anger leads to more significant consequences, like strained relationships or legal trouble.
The key to dealing with your anger more effectively is to understand how it works.
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Anger is an emotion, while aggression is a behavior. They differ entirely in one central dimension - control.
Most people assume they should manage their anger, but trying to control their anger only makes it stronger. When they fail:
While you can't control your emotions of anger directly, you have control over your aggression, which is a decision to express your anger.
Aggression does not only involve acts of violence. Being overly-critical or judgmental of someone in your mind is an act of aggression, as is replyin...
"You have to express your anger to release it" is a myth. Research shows that expressing your anger only makes it stronger. Turning away from it by doing nothing or distracting yourself leads to less intense anger.
Try to address the source of the anger, not the anger itself. For ...
It is misleading to think of anger as a negative emotion. A hot pan on the stove isn’t bad or negative just because it leads to you feeling pain when you accidentally rest your thumb on it. It is a good thing because it alerts your body to a dangerous situation.
This actually makes it harder to control your aggression.
The solution is to turn the relationship around. Acknowledge and accept your anger for what it is. Then, direct your efforts at control toward your aggression.
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Ignoring feelings (like "stuffing your anger") is not the healthiest way to deal with them. generally speaking, that does not make them go away but can cause them to come out in different ways. That’s because your emotions act as signals to you that what you are doing in your life is or isn’t wor...
A person who has experienced trauma is prone to feelings of resentment. This is not to say that they don't have the right to be angry, they do, but they don't process this anger and let go.
Resentful people hold on to the fiery experiences because they want to be able to ...
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