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Zoe Weiss
@zweiss
Anger feels good
- Anger makes you feel morally superior. Every time you criticize someone, the implication is that you're better. He’s such an idiot… (but I’m pretty smart).
- Anger makes you feel in control. It gives you the illusion of control, like you're doing something and making a difference.
- Anger distracts you temporarily from more painful emotions. This is especially true of men in most cultures for whom anger is a reasonable emotion while fear, sadness, or guilt are not.
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Nathaniel N.
@nat_nn28
How to Handle Other People's Anger Like a Pro
Anger and Aggression
- Anger: An emotion felt when we believe we have been wronged.
- Aggression: is an act of expression of the anger, by our words our actions. Aggressio...
Validation and Boundaries
- We can try and validate the anger felt by an individual by making them know that their anger is maybe justified while putting firm but respectful boundaries on their aggression.
- We then need to be clear about what type of aggression we are willing to tolerate, setting boundaries on the unacceptable.
- We may have to put our foot down and be ready to leave the conversation or escalate the issue, without falling into the trap of guilt and emotion.
- If possible, we need to restart the conversation when things have cooled down, and diffuse the issue in a calm way.
Avoiding Speculative Self-Talk
Unchecked self-talk can easily turn into self-delusion. The stories we create almost always make you look like the good guy and cannot be termed as objective.
- The way to get out of this speculative self-delusion is to avoid any speculation about other people's anger, at least initially.
- Make sure to note down the facts of the situation. This can make the story less according to your gut instinct, and more towards the objective reality.
Nimai Arya
@aryaman
How to be angry | Psyche Guides
Explaining Anger
Anger is characterised by an intense feeling of displeasure, ranging from frustration to rage. It includes a physiological response like increased heart rate and muscle tension, th...
Interacting Factors of Anger
Anger comes from three interacting factors:
- A provocation or trigger. It's what happened right before you got angry (being cut off in traffic, or insulted by someone, for example)
- The person's interpretation of the provocation. When you blow things out of proportion, overgeneralise, or label people in inflammatory ways, you become angrier than you otherwise would
- Their mood at the time, such as tired, stressed, hungry, already angry.
Understand Your Anger
- Is your anger justified? Consider if you've really been wronged or treated unfairly, and what the real consequences of that are.
- What does your anger tell you about the situation? When you think your anger is justified, what is your anger communicating to you about the circumstances? Your anger may come from the stress of the coming day.
- What does your anger tell you about yourself? Anger can tell you a lot about your values and needs. It can give you a better understanding of what to do next.
Jane K.
@jan_jkk760
How To Get Rid Of Anger: 3 New Secrets From Neuroscience - Barking Up The Wrong Tree
The Power of Forgiveness
Forgive. Research indicates that forgiveness makes you less angry and more healthy.
Dealing with Anger According to Context
Sometimes suppression is the only thing you can do to avoid an escalation. And sometimes reappraisal can cause you to tolerate bad situations.
But that said, telling yourself a more compassionate story about what’s going on inside the other person’s head is usually the best way to go.
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