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Changing behaviour is difficult because people often don’t realize which behaviours they need to change or how their environment impacts those behaviours. People resist change due to overconfidence in their willpower, a belief that their behaviour isn’t as bad as others, and magical thinking that leads them to believe that changing is a finite destination rather than a continuous journey.
Change requires effort and attention over time as well as directed thoughts about the changes that need to be made.
Triggers are stimuli that prompt a behavioural reaction. They can be beliefs, behaviours, or environments. Identifying triggers is useful in all interpersonal relationships and will help you to achieve success at work and home. It’s also important to know how to identify them and anticipate their changes so that you can be the best version of yourself as well as build stronger relationships with others.
To change your behaviour for the better, you need to want to change and be willing to take responsibility for yourself.
In order to understand how triggers influence our behaviour, we look at these six key clues:
Being too used to an environment may become risky and make you vulnerable in front of unexpected triggers. A good example is represented by successful people. Used to winning, they risk mismanaging their emotions when faced with environmental triggers.
Five questions we should all ask ourselves:
Self-discipline refers to achieving desirable behaviour. Self-control refers to avoiding undesirable behaviour
Overnight changes are a myth. Success is a sport. To achieve success, we have to practice every day. We have to build something great by making small efforts every day, efforts like these:
Significant changes are necessary but also hard to do. Your level of determination is crucial.
I won’t get distracted and nothing unexpected will occur. When we make plans for the future, we seldom plan on distractions.
An epiphany will suddenly change my life. An epiphany implies that change can arise out of a sudden burst of insight and willpower.
My change will be permanent and I will never have to worry again. If we don’t follow up, our positive change doesn’t last.
My elimination of old problems will not bring on new problems. We forget that as we usher an old problem out the door a new problem usually enters.
Daily self-monitoring, through 6 “active”/engaging questions – questions that measure our effort, not our results:
A Trigger is a problem only if your response to it creates a problem.
Despite having a good life, enriched in all areas – the negative environment can impose depressive behaviour. Even these situations can have a positive effect if the person is willing to see beyond the challenging nature of things.
The cause of pain is often self-created, don’t become a victim of your insecurity – be a wolf!
“Triggers” is a representative of the relative nature of things, which can drive your life back and forward.
Fate is the hand of cards we’ve been dealt. Choice is how we play the hand.
We are surrounded by those kinds of triggers, which appear to be relentless and omnipresent – a cake that makes us forget the warnings about sugar content, a song that distracts us from a conversation.
All these modify our behaviour in less than a second. The good news is that WE HAVE A CHOICE. We can control them.
If I understand, I will do. Just because people understand what to do doesn’t ensure that they will actually do it.
I have willpower and won’t give in to temptation. We not only overestimate willpower, we chronically underestimate the power of triggers in our environment that lead us astray.
Today is a special day. If we really want to change we have to make peace with the fact that we cannot self-exempt every time the calendar offers us a more attractive alternative to our usual day.
“At least I’m better than …” We award ourselves a free pass because we’re not the worst in the world.
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Changing our habits and behaviour, using awareness.
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