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Is there such a thing as the 'friend-zone'?

We Don't Know Ourselves

A recent study showed that men overestimate how good-looking they are to women. Women, on the other hand, think they are less attractive to men, which is not the case.

People who think they are highly attractive may incorrectly assume that the other person is sexually interested in them.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Is there such a thing as the 'friend-zone'?

Is there such a thing as the 'friend-zone'?

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190910-is-there-such-a-thing-as-the-friend-zone

bbc.com

6

Key Ideas

Friend-zoning

Friend-zoning is a notion that men and women have different perspectives.

Men are more frequently attracted to their opposite-sex friends, even if they state that it's just a platonic relationship.

We Don't Know Ourselves

A recent study showed that men overestimate how good-looking they are to women. Women, on the other hand, think they are less attractive to men, which is not the case.

People who think they are highly attractive may incorrectly assume that the other person is sexually interested in them.

Taking The Lead

Men look for signs or attraction more than women do, like it has always been. Men initiate the love and take the lead, deciding to move out of a platonic relationship faster than women.

Platonic Friendships

Platonic friendships with the opposite sex have their benefits:

  • Protection and security.
  • Giving and taking advice on how to attract partners.

Biased From The Beginning

Unconsciously, we tend to choose charming opposite-sex friends, and it is the first step towards later getting interested in a romantic way with the same friend, ending the platonism.

This trait of preferring attractive opposite-sex friends is found more in men.

Romantic Risk-Takers

Both men and women are biologically programmed to desire a long-term partnership, and at the same time, they are also willing to be involved in a short-term fling or a sexual encounter.

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Relationship as a partnership

It helps to view your relationship as a “work of art” that you two are co-creating together, in real-time.

The work-of-art mindset can help counter that pessimistic self-narrative. Instead, you get to stop thinking about yourself and what you’re gaining or losing in your relationship, and you get to start thinking about what you have to offer.

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Common errors when reading people

  • Ignoring context: Crossed arms don’t mean much if the room is cold or the chair they’re sitting in doesn’t have armrests. 
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Trusting your instincts

Your first impressions are usually pretty accurate. But whether they are wrong or right, first impressions affect us in a big way and we are slow to change them.

You have to be willing to update them quite rapidly. 

Reading first impressions

  • Studies show that if someone seems extroverted, confident, religious or conscientious, they probably are.
  • We all pay more attention to pretty people, and so we tend to take the time to evaluate them.
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Humor In A relationship

A sense of humor is desirable in a relationship, as people, especially men seem more desirable if they are funny.

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Generally, humor is a great ice-breaker and social lubricant, but if there are stressful situations in a relationship, humor actually increases the chances of a break-up or divorce.

Laughing With Your Partner

An intimate relationship requires opening up with your partner and being vulnerable, something that may feel uncomfortable to some people. Relationship satisfaction is affected if:

  • Couples like to laugh at others.
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  • Partners dislike if the other makes fun of them.

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