Is there such a thing as the 'friend-zone'? - Deepstash

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Is there such a thing as the 'friend-zone'?

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190910-is-there-such-a-thing-as-the-friend-zone

bbc.com

Is there such a thing as the 'friend-zone'?
"Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way," says Harry Burns in When Harry Met Sally, having been told moments earlier that friendship is all that he is getting. Sally lists her male friends with whom she is purely platonically interested.

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Friend-zoning

Friend-zoning

Friend-zoning is a notion that men and women have different perspectives.

Men are more frequently attracted to their opposite-sex friends, even if they state that it's just a platonic relationship.

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We Don't Know Ourselves

A recent study showed that men overestimate how good-looking they are to women. Women, on the other hand, think they are less attractive to men, which is not the case.

People who think they are highly attractive may incorrectly assume that the other person is sexually interested in them.

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Taking The Lead

Men look for signs or attraction more than women do, like it has always been. Men initiate the love and take the lead, deciding to move out of a platonic relationship faster than women.

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Platonic Friendships

Platonic friendships with the opposite sex have their benefits:

  • Protection and security.
  • Giving and taking advice on how to attract partners.

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Biased From The Beginning

Unconsciously, we tend to choose charming opposite-sex friends, and it is the first step towards later getting interested in a romantic way with the same friend, ending the platonism.

This trait of preferring attractive opposite-sex friends is found more in men.

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Romantic Risk-Takers

Both men and women are biologically programmed to desire a long-term partnership, and at the same time, they are also willing to be involved in a short-term fling or a sexual encounter.

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Research On Our Partner Preferences

Research On Our Partner Preferences

Our own partner preferences may not be fully understood by us.

  • An organic study on peoples dating and partner choice indicated that one’s preferences, ideals and priorities t...

Real Life Vs Dream Life

People may not be communicating well about what they want in their partners or may have a lack of awareness, or even a myopic view of their life. Experiencing it for themselves is a better bet to find out what works.

The dreamy idols that make up our early stages of attractions, especially at a young age, do not translate into someone one can spend the entire life with, where mundane activities like picking up groceries and taking care of the kids take precedence over being handsome or inspiring.

The Negativity Bias

The Negativity Bias
... or the Negativity Effect is a tendency most of us have to respond more strongly to negative events and emotions than to positive ones.
Any further action that is ...

Magnified Faults

The Negativity Effect magnifies and distorts your partner's faults, whether real or imaginary.

The partner starts to wonder why isn't there any appreciation for all the good that is being done, and why the focus is only on the one bad thing.

Going Downhill

Relationships, especially long-term ones, don't get better with time but are kept intact by avoiding decline.

Married couples find contentment in other sources and remain satisfied with each other, and if not so, then the marriage breaks down.

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Common errors when reading people

  • Ignoring context: Crossed arms don’t mean much if the room is cold or the chair they’re sitting in doesn’t have armrests. 
  • Not looking for clusters: It’s a consisten...

Trusting your instincts

Your first impressions are usually pretty accurate. But whether they are wrong or right, first impressions affect us in a big way and we are slow to change them.

You have to be willing to update them quite rapidly. 

Reading first impressions

  • Studies show that if someone seems extroverted, confident, religious or conscientious, they probably are.
  • We all pay more attention to pretty people, and so we tend to take the time to evaluate them.
  • If you want to know if someone is good at their job, watch them do it for 30-60 seconds. 
  • Funny people are smart: Effective humor production acts as an honest indicator of intelligence in humans.