How We Behave

We can at least weather the storm we’re dealing with in layers one or two without having a burden on layer three to contend with.

For example, the self-consciousness that arises when meeting new people can become a little easier to bear with and accept when someone knows that many others f...

Do you find that you don’t feel all that gratified and content with your life, and you’re hard on yourself for feeling this way?

Do you wonder what’s the matter with you, and why you can’t be more happy-go-lucky like other folks seem to be?

You might want to check that assumption be...

Am I Normal? It's common to wonder whether we're normal, but we might want to use caution.

But what does normal even mean, anyway?

Well, I guess that depends on how you define it. Since the 1500s, we’ve attached a host of other meanings to the term. Here are a few:

“Conforming t...

On the one hand, it’s understandable that we look to others for hints on how to act and feel, for clues on how to think about ourselves, people, and the world.

Social influence is powerful and pervasive, and most of us are highly motivated to fit in.

We are deeply social, relational...

Good for you. Abnormal can mean we’re walking to the beat of our own drum and living life authentically.

Life is priceless and fleeting, so let’s live it on our terms and embrace our own inner weirdness, our eccentricities, and oddities.

Rest assured, everybody has them.

Reason 4: Abnormal can be wonderful.

Think about the people you admire most. Are they normal? Probably not. They likely have some remarkable characteristics, abilities, and skills, such as immense degrees of kindness, courage, compassion, intelligence, comedic ability, adventurousness, crea...

Colman, A. (2008). Drapetomania. In A Dictionary of Psychology (3rd ed.). doi: 10.1093/acref/9780199534067.001.0001Cummings, K., & Proctor, R. (2014). The changing public image of smoking in the United States: 1964-2014. Cancer Epidemiology, Biomarkers & Prevention : A Publication of the American...

Now let’s do one more translation to get at what we’re really talking about: “Am I okay? Is what I’m doing, thinking, or feeling acceptable?”

“This is quite normal. A lot of people have the same sort of experience.”

This reply generally brings a wave of comfort, as a burden is lifted...

That’s right. If you were a slave and endeavored to be free, this would have been a symptom of a psychological problem and labeled abnormal.

In a more recent example, up until 1973, if you were gay, bisexual, or lesbian, you also would have been diagnosed as having a psychological disorder...

Reason 1: It might not always be so healthy to be “normal” by the group’s standards.

For example, in the recent past, it would have been entirely normal to smoke cigarettes anywhere, including hospitals and airplanes.

Reason 2: “Normal” can be a moving, biased target.

Have you e...

And yet, when we look at the statistics, approximately 46 percent of the population will meet the diagnostic criteria for a psychological disorder at some point in their lifetime.

That’s practically the equivalent of a coin toss. Does this mean that people shouldn’t seek help or support if...

Layer one contains what happens to us in life, from the heart-wrenching to the intensely sublime, and everything in between.

Layer two comprises of our actions, emotions, and thoughts, including our reactions to life’s moments and circumstances from layer one.

Now, layer three is made...