Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
Cultivating a growth mindset and embracing challenges
Developing adaptive thinking and problem-solving skills
Effective learning frameworks and approaches
How We Argue
Many people go in with a pre-recorded message in their heads. They know the point they want to make and assume they know the intent of the other party. They’ve already played it out in their minds.
Other people argue on the defense. There’s something about themselves they don’t want to see or learn. They may even know there’s a kernel of truth to the counterargument, but they don’t want to acknowledge the differing point-of-view.
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MORE IDEAS ON THIS
Ways To Approach A Coversation
We go into conversations assuming there will be a disagreement, but if we shift our assumptions, we will experience a much better interaction:
- Assume goodwill from your partner in each interaction.
- Approach interactions with understanding and a desire to learn from the othe...
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The Engagement Continuum
Engagement can be thought of as a continuum:
- Conversations in which we’re disengaged may include avoidance, stonewalling, silent treatment, or simply being zoned out. These forms of engagement are even destructive to our relationships.
- Constructive e...
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How You Can Learn to Argue Constructively
If we want to engage productively—to argue constructively—we can think of engagement as a continuum rather than an on/off or yes/no discussion.
For better discussions and deeper engagement, we should approach interactions with understanding and a desire to learn from the other pers...
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Related collections
Other curated ideas on this topic:
We Are Strangers To Ourselves
Introspection is blind to construction. This does not mean that our introspective guesses are never accurate, just as you might guess the correct answer to a multiple-choice question.
When you don’t know the actual facts about yourself, your consciousness pieces together a compelling stor...
Reframing Impatience As A Positive Trait
- Impatient people are usually motivated people, and motivated people tend to know how to prioritize.
- Impatient people take their energy and motivation to be where they want to be and give it everything they’ve got.
- Impatient people persist in the sign of obstacles and other...
The root of conflict is not feeling heard
Show the other party empathy. Validate their concern and give them your full attention.
Above all else, people want to know they are being heard. Every argument is about "Did you see me? Did you hear me?"
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