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Tapping into the power of humble narcissism

Humility about your ideas

Admitting the flaws of your ideas makes it tougher for others to come up with their own objections, often resulting in proposing solutions to your problems.

Yet, when we pitch ideas, we worry that they're fragile and we don't want to shoot ourselves in the foot. When we acknowledge our limitations, we seem more credible and trustworthy.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Tapping into the power of humble narcissism

Tapping into the power of humble narcissism

https://ideas.ted.com/tapping-into-the-power-of-humble-narcissism/

ideas.ted.com

7

Key Ideas

The humble narcissist

Researchers studied whether customer service employees were more productive under narcissistic or humble leaders.

The least effective bosses were narcissists. Humble bosses were a bit more productive. But the best leaders were a combination: the humble narcissists.

Narcissist and humble leaders

Narcissists believe they're unique and superior, while humble leaders know they're flawed. 

The humble narcissist has grand ambitions but doesn't feel entitled to them. He is also willing to acknowledge his weaknesses and learn from his mistakes.

Narcissism and confidence

We're all drawn to someone who shows confidence - that is the reason that narcissists are more likely to be promoted or get elected to political office. But on its own, narcissism is dangerous. It tends to promote overconfidence and it dismisses the criticism.

Adding humility to narcissism prevents capriciousness and complacency. It helps you remember that you’re human.

Humility about your ideas

Admitting the flaws of your ideas makes it tougher for others to come up with their own objections, often resulting in proposing solutions to your problems.

Yet, when we pitch ideas, we worry that they're fragile and we don't want to shoot ourselves in the foot. When we acknowledge our limitations, we seem more credible and trustworthy.

Performance humility

Performance humility is admitting that you fall short and make mistakes.

Those who seek negative feedback get better performance reviews. It means that they want to learn, and they put themselves in a stronger position to learn.

Cultural humility

When we focus on hiring people who fit the culture, we end up with people who are similar to us. That prevents the diversity of thought and background.

Cultural humility means recognizing that your culture has room for growth. It's the humility to hire people who will stretch and enrich the culture that may miss certain elements.

Success and the narcissist

The humble narcissist believes they can do extraordinary things but know they always have something to learn.

Even if you don’t start your career as a narcissist, success can make you over-confident. Maintaining humility requires you to have people around you that keep you accountable and are willing to tell you the truth.

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Narcissists

They have inflated views of themselves (they think they are better than they actually are).

They make fantastic first impressions. But the stuff that works for narcissists so well in the sho...

Don't deal with them

Narcissists lack empathy, they usually don’t work hard, and in a few weeks to a few months, they make the people around them miserable. And narcissism is very hard to change. So, if at all possible, just stay away.

Kiss Up Or Shut Up

Clinical psychologist Al Bernstein recommends you kiss up to them or at least keep your mouth shut until you can get out of there.

There’s this concept called “narcissistic injury.” Pointing out a narcissist isn’t all they think they are can be like pulling the pin on a grenade. A grenade you have to see every day of your life.

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Superiority and entitlement

The world of the narcissist is all about good/bad, superior/inferior, and right/wrong. There is a definite hierarchy, with the narcissist at the top—which is the only place he feels safe. 

Exaggerated need for attention

Narcissists need constant attention—even following you around the house or constantly saying something to grab your attention. 

Despite all their self-absorbed, grandiose bragging, narcissists are actually very insecure and fearful of not measuring up. They constantly try to elicit praise and approval from others to shore up their fragile egos, but no matter how much they've received, they always want more.

Perfectionism

Narcissists believe they should be perfect, you should be perfect, events should happen exactly as expected, and life should play out precisely as they envision it. 

The demand for unattainable perfection leads the narcissist to complain and be constantly dissatisfied.

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Inability to distinguish

We tend to assume that confident people have more potential for leadership. 

However, there is little overlap between how good people think they are at something, and how good the...

Charismatic individuals

We seem to want leaders who are charming and entertaining, but a stand-up comedian is not the same as an effective leader.

The best leaders are humble rather than charismatic, to the point of being boring.

Narcissistic individuals

We've always admired famous people, but our admiration for people who admire themselves is on the rise. But true leaders keep their narcissism in check.

Popular advice focuses on loving yourself above all else. And this creates leaders who are unaware of their limitations. They see leadership as an entitlement. 

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