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Researchers studied whether customer service employees were more productive under narcissistic or humble leaders.
The least effective bosses were narcissists. Humble bosses were a bit more productive. But the best leaders were a combination: the humble narcissists.
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Narcissists believe they're unique and superior, while humble leaders know they're flawed.
The humble narcissist has grand ambitions but doesn't feel entitled to them. He is also willing to acknowledge his weaknesses and learn from his mistakes.
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We're all drawn to someone who shows confidence - that is the reason that narcissists are more likely to be promoted or get elected to political office. But on its own, narcissism is dangerous. It tends to promote overconfidence and it dismisses the criticism.
Adding humility to narcissism prevents capriciousness and complacency. It helps you remember that you’re human.
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Admitting the flaws of your ideas makes it tougher for others to come up with their own objections, often resulting in proposing solutions to your problems.
Yet, when we pitch ideas, we worry that they're fragile and we don't want to shoot ourselves in the foot. When we acknowledge our limitations, we seem more credible and trustworthy.
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Performance humility is admitting that you fall short and make mistakes.
Those who seek negative feedback get better performance reviews. It means that they want to learn, and they put themselves in a stronger position to learn.
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When we focus on hiring people who fit the culture, we end up with people who are similar to us. That prevents the diversity of thought and background.
Cultural humility means recognizing that your culture has room for growth. It's the humility to hire people who will stretch and enrich the culture that may miss certain elements.
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The humble narcissist believes they can do extraordinary things but know they always have something to learn.
Even if you don’t start your career as a narcissist, success can make you over-confident. Maintaining humility requires you to have people around you that keep you accountable and are willing to tell you the truth.
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They have inflated views of themselves (they think they are better than they actually are).
They make fantastic first impressions. But the stuff that works for narcissists so well in the sho...
Narcissists lack empathy, they usually don’t work hard, and in a few weeks to a few months, they make the people around them miserable. And narcissism is very hard to change. So, if at all possible, just stay away.
Clinical psychologist Al Bernstein recommends you kiss up to them or at least keep your mouth shut until you can get out of there.
There’s this concept called “narcissistic injury.” Pointing out a narcissist isn’t all they think they are can be like pulling the pin on a grenade. A grenade you have to see every day of your life.
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Narcissism, it turns out, is not a one-dimensional personality and there are nuances in character and behaviour.
Humble narcissists, people who are egoistic but still able to admit mistakes, and leaders that are trainable, or are able to give other people credit, are a paradoxical but strong leadership package.
Counterbalancing the narcissistic traits with humility is something that can be taken up by managers who believe they may fall in this category.
This can be done by:
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The world of the narcissist is all about good/bad, superior/inferior, and right/wrong. There is a definite hierarchy, with the narcissist at the top—which is the only place he feels safe.
Narcissists need constant attention—even following you around the house or constantly saying something to grab your attention.
Despite all their self-absorbed, grandiose bragging, narcissists are actually very insecure and fearful of not measuring up. They constantly try to elicit praise and approval from others to shore up their fragile egos, but no matter how much they've received, they always want more.
Narcissists believe they should be perfect, you should be perfect, events should happen exactly as expected, and life should play out precisely as they envision it.
The demand for unattainable perfection leads the narcissist to complain and be constantly dissatisfied.