Live As If You Have a Responsibility For What Other People Want - Deepstash
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Live As If You Have a Responsibility For What Other People Want

Live As If You Have a Responsibility For What Other People Want

There is no person we encounter—not even in the most uninteresting interaction of our day—whom we do not help desire in one of these three ways. The changes are usually imperceptible. But like a giant flywheel, we are gently nudging other people’s desires in one or another direction.

The transformation of desire happens when we become less concerned about the fulfilment of our own desires and more concerned about the fulfillment of others. We find, paradoxically, that it is the very pathway to fulfilling our own.

115

426 reads

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The Manifestation Of Desire

The Manifestation Of Desire

Wanting well, like thinking clearly, is not an ability we’re born with. It’s a freedom we have to earn. Due to one powerful yet little-known feature of human desire, that freedom is hard-won.

People don’t choose objects of desire the way they choose to wear a coat in the winter. Instead of ...

131

1.64K reads

The Capacity To Imitate

The Capacity To Imitate

There’s something strange about our relationship to imitation. Humans possess advanced capabilities of imitation that allow us to create new things. Our ability to imitate in complex ways is why we have language, recipes, and music.

We are generally fascinated with people who have a differe...

118

780 reads

Moving Goalposts

Moving Goalposts

We don’t rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems. From the standpoint of desire, our goals are the product of our systems. We can’t want something that is outside the system of desire we occupy.

The obsession with goal setting is misguided, even counterproductive...

114

455 reads

Test Your Desires: Imagine Your Deathbed

Test Your Desires: Imagine Your Deathbed

The ultimate way to test desires—especially major life choices such as whether to marry someone or whether to quit your job and start a company—is to practice this same exercise but to do it while imagining yourself on your deathbed. Which choice leaves you more consoled? Which choice causes you ...

127

422 reads

Models: The Real Source Of Desire

Models: The Real Source Of Desire

Models are the gravitational centers around which our social lives turn.

If you look hard enough, you will find a model (or a set of models) for almost everything—your personal style, the way you speak, the look and feel of your home. But the models that most of us overlook are models of de...

123

1.29K reads

Social Mediation

Social Mediation

What we commonly call “social media” is more than media—it’s mediation: thousands of people showing us what to want and colouring our perception of those things.

Smartphones are like slot machines. Both work through the power of intermittent variable rewards—pulling the lever of a slot mach...

118

620 reads

The Art Of Sitting Quietly In A Room

The Art Of Sitting Quietly In A Room

Silence is where we learn to be at peace with ourselves, where we learn the truth about who we are and what we want. If you’re not sure what you want, there’s no faster way to find out than to enter into complete silence for an extended period of time—not hours, but days.

All of hum...

128

431 reads

Discernment

Discernment

Discernment is an essential skill because it’s a process for making decisions that includes but also transcends rational analysis. It’s critical for deciding which desires to pursue and which ones to leave behind.

Desires are discerned, not decided. Discernment exists in the liminal space b...

110

380 reads

The Trend Of Goalsetting

The Trend Of Goalsetting

People set goals and make plans to arrive at a future point called “progress.” But will it be progress? How can we be so sure? Some goals—even good ones—overstay their welcome.

But it’s worth asking where goals come from in the first place. Every goal is embedded within a system.

Mime...

110

424 reads

Thick Desires

Thick Desires

Discovering and developing thick desires protects against cheap mimetic desires—and ultimately leads to a more fulfilling life.

Thick desires are like diamonds that have been formed deep beneath the surface, nearer to the core of the Earth. Thick desires are protected from the volatility of...

114

400 reads

The Path Of Desire

The Path Of Desire

Desire is a path-dependent process. The choices we make today affect the things we’ll want tomorrow. That’s why it’s important to map out, the best we can, the consequences of our actions on our future desires.

Start by thinking seriously about what a positive cycle of desire might look lik...

117

475 reads

Hidden Models—Romantic Lies, Infant Truth

Hidden Models—Romantic Lies, Infant Truth

We don’t want things that are too easily possessed or that are readily within reach. Desire leads us beyond where we currently are. Models are like people standing a hundred yards up the road who can see something around the corner that we can’t yet see.

So the way that a model describes so...

127

1.03K reads

Innovation Imitation

Innovation Imitation

If someone’s primary objective is innovation for the sake of innovation, they usually end up in a mimetic rivalry with everyone in their field to compete primarily on the basis of originality.

Being different for the sake of being different is the ethos behind shock-value art and academics ...

114

497 reads

Two Opposite Thoughts In One Mind

Two Opposite Thoughts In One Mind

It’s a sign of maturity to be able to hold on to two conflicting desires or two opposing ideas at the same time without immediately rejecting one or the other before there has been time for careful discernment. To live with desire is to live with tension.

Wise people have said that it’s bes...

121

401 reads

NAVAL RAVIKANT

Desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want

NAVAL RAVIKANT

119

523 reads

Smartphones And Mimetic Desire

Smartphones And Mimetic Desire

Smartphones project the desires of billions of people to us through social media, Google searches, and restaurant and hotel reviews. The neurological addictiveness of smartphones is real; but our addiction to the desires of others, to which smartphones give us unfettered access, is the metaphysic...

118

543 reads

Desire Is Subjective

Desire Is Subjective

Rivalry is a function of proximity. When people are separated from us by enough time, space, money, or status, there is no way to compete seriously with them for the same opportunities.

Celebristan external mediators of desire. They influence desire from ou...

114

684 reads

The Cult Of Experts

The Cult Of Experts

One hundred years ago, there was a much wider gap in knowledge between someone who had a doctoral degree and someone who didn’t. Today, with the world’s information at nearly everyone’s fingertips, the knowledge gap between people with a great amount of formal education and those with less has na...

112

620 reads

Mimetic Models

Mimetic Models

Mimetic models(subconsious imitation) lie in wait every time we glance at our phone. The families of childhood friends post photos in which every day looks like a Christmas card, and Instagram models with bleached white teeth show us how they eat their nutritious breakfasts.

The universe of...

119

943 reads

ARISTOTLE

Imitation is natural to man from childhood, one of his advantages over the lower animals being this, that he is the most imitative creature in the world.

ARISTOTLE

124

2.58K reads

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The real reason we want what we want.

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