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How to Get Over Someone
How To Unfixate
To un-fixate from an object of one's affection, you have to tell yourself that you never really liked the person, and the qualities you liked in them, can be found in others.
By dissecting and investigating the character, you can help isolate the traits you liked, and can eventually find them in other people.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
Unrequited Love
It is a feeling of being obsessive or fixated about a person as if one has found an oasis in a desert of nothingness. Insisting that the relationship will work out exactly as you want ca...
The Other Person
The other person can sense the unease, the possessive desperation, neediness, and even creepiness in you that arises from 'clinging' towards them.
Even if we play it cool, and follow the dating norms and etiquettes, the 'needy' energy can leak out of us, repelling the other person. If you are feeling like that, it is best to listen to yourself with compassion.
Self-Examination
Being left alone or not being able to have a fulfilling relationship with one person is a perfect opportunity for self-discovery and self-examination.
Instead of waiting for the other person to suddenly start loving you (an external event you cannot control) you are much better off understanding the situation objectively, absorbing the learning it brings. Love can come from diverse sources if you are open to life, alternatives and possibilities.
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Key Ideas
The faulty logic
We usually consider moving into marriage in an attempt to preserve and prolong the happy romantic feelings that characterize the early stages of almost all relationships.
But in most cases, ther...
Unrealistic expectations
The gap between expectation and reality is the cause for many of life’s disappointments.
We like to create detailed fantasies of how our lives are going to be. But when we expect our reality to match a fantasy but life turns out nothing like it, we feel disappointed.
Asking the right questions
"Are you the right person for me?" is the wrong question to ask, because nothing outside of ourselves can fix us or bring us happiness.
A more constructive question to ask would be "Can I accommodate your imperfections with humor and grace?"
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Key Ideas
Change and the unchangeable
Meaning and relationships
- We generate meaning through relationships. And meaning is the fuel of our minds.
- Our relationships also define our understanding of ourselves. And when one of these relationships is destroyed, that part of our identity is destroyed along with it.
Depression vs. sadness
- Sadness occurs when something feels bad.
- Depression occurs when something feels meaningless.
When something feels bad, at least it has meaning. In depression, everything becomes a big blank void.