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Grief should not be avoided, despite feeling bad
Grief is undoubtedly stressful. It typically involves a long time of sadness or sorrow, but often other 'negative' feelings such as anxiety, guilt or anger.
The idea that our lives would be better without grief seems misguided. People assume it's good to try to prevent others from suffering. But in the case of grief, most of us would be hesitant about trying to wipe out the grief of a bereaved friend. Not experiencing grief at all thus seems worse than experiencing grief.
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Grief signals loss
Our emotions can inform us about what we value. In the case of grief, what we feel notifies us about what we value in our relationship with the person who is now deceased.
Grief allows us to appreciate how that person contributed to our day-to-day lives, shaped our goals and commitments, a...
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Grieving is a tool
Not every manifestation of grief is helpful. Sometimes the pain of grief is unbearable.
Grief is stressful, but not a shameful state that we should hope will resolve as quickly as possible. It is a potentially powerful tool for adapting to the loss.
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Grief can cause a kind of identity crisis
Those with whom we have close relationships are not interchangeable commodities that can be replaced. So we grieve ultimately for how others’ deaths are losses to us.
We do not grieve the deaths of everyone but only those with whom we have a relationship that is central to our understanding...
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Grief helps address the loss
Because grief is distressing, it motivates us to learn how to live in light of the loss.
Our relationships cannot continue the same way as before. Grief offers us an abundance of information about how to change the relationship. For example, widows and widowers often must ...
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