Self-talk is a behavior. It’s something we do. And sometimes, it’s something we do so often that it becomes a habit. If you’re constantly cruel to yourself, you’re going to feel the same as if another person was constantly cruel to you. The best way to undo a habit of overly negative self-talk is to focus on one simple idea: gentleness.Be gentle with yourself and you’ll find it a lot easier to like yourself.

2. Practice Gentle Self-Talk

The people you consistently spend time with affect your wellbeing and self-esteem too. If you constantly hang around people who don’t particularly like you, that’s gonna rub off and it’s going to be harder to like yourself more. On the other hand, if you spend a lot of time with people who genuinely like you and enjoy spending time with you, it’s going to be much easier to like yourself more.

1. Spend More Time with People You Actually Enjoy

Having clear values means you have a well-defined vision for the things that matter most to you.The term values includes everything from traditional virtues like honesty and integrity all the way down to more mundane but still important commitments like maintaining your physical health through exercise or spending quality time with good friends.When your values are unclear, they’re not very motivating.

3. Clarify Your Values

People with low self-esteem are usually really good at keeping their promises to other people and really bad at keeping promises to themselves. They’re so concerned with other people’s wants and needs that they end up constantly compromising what they want. And when this compromise becomes a habit, their self-esteem takes a serious hit.True self-esteem comes from balancing the wants and needs of others with the wants and needs of yourself.In order to feel good about yourself, make sure you’re putting fuel in your own tank. And the best ways to do that is to keep your promises to yourself.

4. Keep Your Promises to Yourself

Most people spend so much time trying to understand their low self-esteem, that they don’t have any energy left to build higher self-esteem. If you want better self-esteem, focus on identifying and building consistent habits that will improve your self-esteem. Here are four pretty good ones to start with.