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Parenthood, the Great Moral Gamble - Issue 2: Uncertainty - Nautilus

The Inner Paradox

Due to so many factors at play, parents are relying on good luck, pulling off a gamble on the child that is being raised. They don't have much leverage on the outcome, the net result of the actions of their offspring.

There is an inner paradox, a duality that exists in the minds of parents, which can make them accept and also reject the responsibility they have towards their kids' actions.

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Parenthood, the Great Moral Gamble - Issue 2: Uncertainty - Nautilus

Parenthood, the Great Moral Gamble - Issue 2: Uncertainty - Nautilus

http://nautil.us/issue/2/uncertainty/parenthood-the-great-moral-gamble

nautil.us

3

Key Ideas

Moral Luck

We judge ourselves and others morally for things that didn't come out as intended, were unforeseen, or were influenced by factors beyond one's control. 

The judgment we should receive is based on how our actions turned out, rather than our intentions, no matter how good they were. This is called 'Moral Luck'.

Feeling Morally Responsible

Some people do their parenting in difficult circumstances, and nothing that is done by them as parents is fully under their control.

The good and bad traits that parents possess can find their way in the child, with them having no say as to what the child will eventually become or do.

The Inner Paradox

Due to so many factors at play, parents are relying on good luck, pulling off a gamble on the child that is being raised. They don't have much leverage on the outcome, the net result of the actions of their offspring.

There is an inner paradox, a duality that exists in the minds of parents, which can make them accept and also reject the responsibility they have towards their kids' actions.

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Luck can be increased with hard work, though what can happen out there is still anybody’s guess. The prepared mind that is able to act with speed and direction has more favourable chances than the one who is not paying attention.

Luck and Our Perception On Life

Being lucky or unlucky often is our own perception and outlook towards life.

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Maximize Opportunities
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Luck and Intuition

Lucky people act on their intuitions across many areas of their lives.

Intuition is when your body and brain have detected a pattern before you have deliberately considered it.

Expect Good Fortune

You are more likely to be successful if you are optimistic about your opportunities.

When you think things will work out, you are more apt to persevere. You are also open to new opportunities.

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The "chubby kid"

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A strict diet and determination can transform the body into a thinner self. However, the mind struggles to follow the transformation. The perfect weight becomes the measurement for success, and any deviation from it feels like failure.

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Women should not feel that their bodies are tied to the perfect body of other women.

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Most parents and teachers do not understand the importance of deep bonding among friends at school and tend to regard friendships as a distraction or a nuisance.

Social Isolation and Bullying

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Converse with your negative self

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Sometimes, it is something about the way you've structured your days that doesn't honor the potential and countless possibilities that are stretched out before you. Or something about your anxiety has caused you to build things that restrict you. Your fears will keep you inside predictable shapes.

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Taking cues from you

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Model stress tolerance

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Types Of Daydreaming
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Just Show Up

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The Four S's

Showing up for your child is easy to do. A child should be made to feel Safe, Seen, Soothed and Secure.

When we show up and give our children an opportunity to be seen, honestly and directly, then we act as a living mirror for them to see themselves.


Don't Deny Their Feelings

While we reassure our kids telling them what they are feeling is not going to be a problem, and they shouldn't cry or worry, we are ignoring their feelings.

Acknowledging what they feel is as important as correcting their course.

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