Humans have an inbuilt drive to belong and be accepted. This makes us care about what others think of us.
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Out of novelty and boredom, we started being part of 'imaginary' groups just because it is cool to do so. There are groups in social media, or in clubs/bars, in which people join due to desire to be accepted.
If we have our friends, family, a career and a few hobbies, we don't need to attach our identity to a group.
Create your own closely-knit group of true and authentic people in your family and close friends.
You need to stop bothering about or getting influenced by other people and realize that you don't need to be part of other groups.
Discovering your core values, and having a vision is key to finding your mission.
You have to know where you want to go (Vision) and create a road map that takes you there (Values). Having these foundational pillars in your life makes us less susceptible to what others think and do.
It's ok to disappoint others, instead of falling in the trap of doing obligatory and unnecessary work, as many kind and thoughtful people end up doing. It is ok to say NO to others, as the most important task you have is to live up to your core values and your mission.
If people are disappointed with you, it is a revelation that they are selfish, and are not concerned with the wellbeing of others.
A few examples of how we extrapolate our exceptions all the time:
The root of this problem is our quick judgment.
“The most fundamental and important truth at the heart of Extreme Ownership: there are no bad teams, only bad leaders.” - Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, Extreme Ownership
You can only lead by example. There’s no other effective way to inspire people.
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