It's Ok To Disappoint Others - Deepstash

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How To Stop Caring About What People Think & Do - Darius Foroux

It's Ok To Disappoint Others

It's ok to disappoint others, instead of falling in the trap of doing obligatory and unnecessary work, as many kind and thoughtful people end up doing. It is ok to say NO to others, as the most important task you have is to live up to your core values and your mission.

If people are disappointed with you, it is a revelation that they are selfish, and are not concerned with the wellbeing of others.

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Extrapolating our thoughts

A few examples of how we extrapolate our exceptions all the time:

  • “House prices will probably keep increasing.”
  • “That person will never change.”
  • “My busi...
We’re fast thinkers

But that doesn’t mean we should follow through on every single thought that pops into our mind.

Every time you start thinking about future events or start making mental movies, keep count on a post-it note or a small piece of paper. Be aware of your thoughts. But don’t follow through.

Ryan Holiday
Ryan Holiday
“It takes skill and discipline to bat away the pests of bad perceptions, to separate reliable signals from deceptive ones, to filter out prejudice, expectation, and fear.”
Leadership is about ownership

The most fundamental and important truth at the heart of Extreme Ownership: there are no bad teams, only bad leaders.” - Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, Extreme Ownership

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How to set the right example
  • Expect from others what you expect from yourself. Never ask for something you're not doing.
  • When things go wrong, try to stay calm. Life is nothing but a series of solved problems. 
  • When you screw up, admit it. There’s no place for your ego.
  • Be clear about your values and rules. People must take you seriously.
  • Respect others and don’t try to change them. It’s impossible to change people. You can only change yourself. 
Being a people-pleaser
Being a people-pleaser

If you ever say "yes", when you want to say "no", or nod in agreement when you don't agree, you've probably experienced people pleasing.

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Develop Awareness Of Your Behavior

People are often unaware of their people-pleasing behavior. The habit can become so ingrained that it's automatic.

It takes full commitment to stay aware with an intention to change. Write a list of all the things you would normally do in an effort to please. Take note of each time you do them and figure out how you will change it next time.

Drop the Label

When you label yourself with "I am...," it has the potential to become your identity. "I am a people pleaser. I am not liked."

Never describe yourself as a people pleaser. Instead, describe your behavior as you make a decision to change it.